Dancing with God

Why "Dance with God and he will let the Perfect Man cut in" 
isn't good dating advice.

Picture Source

Let’s talk about that quote: “Dance with God and he will let the perfect man cut in.” It’s on a happy picture with a joyous couple sharing their first dance at their wedding with big grins plastered on their faces. The girl in the picture is clearly enthralled with her new husband. The picture and the quote work perfectly together to convey the wonderful spiritual message to young single girls, “Just dance with God and spend time with him until he brings your soul mate into your life!” Sweet and endearing right?

Wrong.

Let’s take a deeper look at what it actually says.

Dancing with God: There’s not a problem with the metaphor of dancing with God. In fact, it’s a beautiful metaphor. You “dance” through life just as you dance to music in many different paces, steps, and phases. The idea of dancing with God, allowing him to take the lead and guide you through those many stages of life, adds a lot of meaning to that metaphor. In and of itself, the idea of dancing with God is a great metaphor. BUT the point of dancing with God is not to wait for a spouse. The point of dancing with God is to allow him to lead you through life while growing closer to him, learning about his heart, and experiencing his love. Dancing with God is not about personal gain but a love for God. Dancing with God is an amazing experience. But don’t dance with God expecting that after a few years of dancing with him, he’ll bring the perfect man to you. Dance with God because his love is the greatest you will ever experience. Dance with God even if it means that no man ever comes along. Because when you dance with God, you learn that it’s not about what you will get but who you will become. When you dance with God you’ll find that he is all you need to be satisfied anyway.

The Perfect Man: Let’s be honest, there aren’t many women, young or old, in this society that aren’t out there dreaming of their perfect soul mate. This soul mate will have all the perfect qualities that will compliment hers just right. This perfect man will be handsome, sensitively love her, love the Lord even more than he loves her, bring her flowers on a weekly basis, and will either be a pastor, youth leader, or at least play the guitar and sing lovely worship songs. The problem is that this man doesn’t exist. There are wonderful godly men in the world that deeply love their wives and the Lord. But there is no perfect man. There isn’t even a man out there that is perfect for you. There are probably plenty of people that make great matches for you but there are no perfect couples. Even the happiest of couples will have their disagreements and arguments. This quote suggests that if you just hang in there long enough, God will send the perfect husband for you. But girls will be kept waiting a long time only to be disappointed when this perfect man never shows up. The truth is that a soul mate is not God’s perfect match for you. A soul mate is a godly mate that you make the choice to love for the rest of your life. Stop waiting for the perfect guy and keep your eyes open for normal guys that love the Lord and have a desire to serve him with their lives.

Cutting In: Whoever came up with this quote must not have understood how a relationship with God works or didn’t understand what it means to cut in. Cutting in on a dance floor presumes that you stop dancing with your current partner in order to start dancing with a different partner. The idea of stopping your dance with God in order to dance with someone else is idolatry in its purest form. A relationship with God is not a substitute for a relationship with a man. A relationship with God should be something that you commit every aspect of your life for the rest of life to. A relationship with God doesn’t end when a man comes into the picture. Even if you start dancing through life with another person, you should never stop dancing with God. When you do find a mate, as you submit to God and to each other, the two of you will find satisfaction as you each dance with God, not only individually, but as a couple.

I’m sure the author of this quote meant well but when it comes down to it, this quote is more like a warning of what not to do when searching for a spouse. When looking for a spouse, dance with God for no other reason than you desire to be close to him, keep your eyes open for good God-loving matches, and don’t ever stop dancing with God. Perhaps the quote should have been, “Dance with God, even if a good match never comes along, you will still be wholly satisfied in his presence.”