God doesn't work through three point outlines and checklists... he doesn't fit into them. Christianity isn't supposed to be about figuring out where I'm lacking and making it better. It's not about fixing the things that are wrong in my life in order to make God happy. It's about loving God so that he will be the source of my happiness. We are not the source of God's happiness, he doesn't need us in order for him to be happy. It's not about me fixing me so that I can be a better daughter to God. It's about me loving God and letting God in so that He can fix because I am his daughter that he can't love any more or less. God loves us so much that it's impossible for him to love us any more than he already does.
It's not that there's a measurement of God's love that the human mind can't comprehend. It's that there is no measurement to God's love at all. The fact that there is no measurement and no end is what humans cannot fully understand. Jesus knew every single one of my failures, even ones that haven't happened yet, and he bought me anyway. It's like buying a car that doesn't work, fixing it, knowing that it will most likely break down again, but still choosing to buy and keep fixing it every time.
God does not only know how many hairs are on our head, he knows which one started to grow first and what each one looks like.
I don't wanna talk about God, I wanna talk TO God. I should want to show off God like a child shows off a trophey. We don't see God with our eyes, we see God with our hearts.
God may get mad at me, but only because he loves me and wants better for me.
God promises me that he will help me. I can't fix myself. I can't even fix myself with God's help... God has to fix me. I just have to let him. It's not a list of steps and procedures to go through so I can be renewed... it's all HIM! And when I ask him to fix me, he will... it's that simple. God... it's not me... it's you. I don't want my faith to be about me, I want it to be about God!
There's no pressure to succeed and do well in order to please God. He already knows the outcome of my efforts, he loves me anyway. He just wants me to love him and give myself over to him, he'll work with me as we go. He just wants me to persevere and strive for him, to pursue him. He will meet me in those efforts. When I fail, he'll be there to help me back up and fix me up so I can keep moving. God bought it all. Jesus died for me and all that I can't be too. He doesn't just want the good parts of me... he wants it all so he can fix the bad parts too.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Make your Shadow like Night
So for a while now I have been dreading making a decision about this coming summer. I have no idea what I'm going to do. For a while I was planning on going back to flipping funnel cakes full time, I do make a lot of money at that job because I get so many hours. That would be the easy thing to do. But God has been sort of tugging on my heart, making me think that he wants me to do some sort of ministry this summer instead. I have been torn because I do have to be able to pay for school and being involved in some sort of ministry instead of working where I worked last summer, won't bring in as much money. So I have been very up in the air about what to do with my summer.
This past Saturday, my family and some people from our church went to another church to hear from a guy that has been in Costa Rica doing some missions work there. He shared about his time there and talked about the organization he was working with. He talked a lot about stepping out in faith, do what seems illogical if God is leading you to do it, have faith that he will open the doors for you. I started to play around with the idea of going to Costa Rica short term this summer. I was inspired to step out in faith and do something crazy like go on a missions trip instead of working. I went and gave the people in charge of the organization my information so that they could get in touch with me and I could do more research about going on a trip. I decided I would pray about it and see what happens.
That night in my devotions, I read Isaiah 16. In verse three, the phrase, "Make your shadow like night." I pondered the phrase, wondering what it really meant. To me it meant to make something completely obvious. The decision wasn't just a shadow, easy to miss, it was like night, evident everywhere you looked. That night I prayed that God would make his will as obvious as night to me concerning Costa Rica. I prayed that he would give me a clear and obvious sign to show me if he wanted me to go to Costa Rica.
The next day at church, once the service was over I was sitting down waiting for the rest of my family to be ready to leave. A gentleman that goes to my church, came over to me, handed me an envelope and walked away. The outside of the envelope read, "Lindsey, use this as you see fit. Not for school!" I opened the envelope, and inside it was a hundred dollar bill. My jaw dropped when I saw how much it was, I couldn't believe it!
As I have been contemplating what to do with it, I had the thought that I could put it towards a fund for Costa Rica. But it wasn't until tonight that everything clicked. I had prayed for a clear sign to go to Costa Rica and the next day God drops an extra hundred dollars into my hand. I truly feel like he is telling me, "See Lindsey? I'll take care of the money." I feel like God wants me to step out in faith and go.
I still have yet to see where my summer will go and all the logistics, but I will keep praying that God will reveal his will to me by making his shadow like night. Pray for me as I search for God's will in summer 2012.
This past Saturday, my family and some people from our church went to another church to hear from a guy that has been in Costa Rica doing some missions work there. He shared about his time there and talked about the organization he was working with. He talked a lot about stepping out in faith, do what seems illogical if God is leading you to do it, have faith that he will open the doors for you. I started to play around with the idea of going to Costa Rica short term this summer. I was inspired to step out in faith and do something crazy like go on a missions trip instead of working. I went and gave the people in charge of the organization my information so that they could get in touch with me and I could do more research about going on a trip. I decided I would pray about it and see what happens.
That night in my devotions, I read Isaiah 16. In verse three, the phrase, "Make your shadow like night." I pondered the phrase, wondering what it really meant. To me it meant to make something completely obvious. The decision wasn't just a shadow, easy to miss, it was like night, evident everywhere you looked. That night I prayed that God would make his will as obvious as night to me concerning Costa Rica. I prayed that he would give me a clear and obvious sign to show me if he wanted me to go to Costa Rica.
The next day at church, once the service was over I was sitting down waiting for the rest of my family to be ready to leave. A gentleman that goes to my church, came over to me, handed me an envelope and walked away. The outside of the envelope read, "Lindsey, use this as you see fit. Not for school!" I opened the envelope, and inside it was a hundred dollar bill. My jaw dropped when I saw how much it was, I couldn't believe it!
As I have been contemplating what to do with it, I had the thought that I could put it towards a fund for Costa Rica. But it wasn't until tonight that everything clicked. I had prayed for a clear sign to go to Costa Rica and the next day God drops an extra hundred dollars into my hand. I truly feel like he is telling me, "See Lindsey? I'll take care of the money." I feel like God wants me to step out in faith and go.
I still have yet to see where my summer will go and all the logistics, but I will keep praying that God will reveal his will to me by making his shadow like night. Pray for me as I search for God's will in summer 2012.
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