Blessings: The Meaning Behind My Tattoo

I got a tattoo today.  It is the word “Blessings” with the date, May 31, 2009. That was the day I had two seizures and was diagnosed with viral encephalitis, a brain infection. The brain infection was a huge trial in my life. I spent eighteen days in the hospital and I had to give up doing ministry for the summer and several other plans. I was closer to death than ever before. For a while we were unsure how much brain damage the infection would leave me with. It was a scary and trying time for me and my family.

But the word “blessings” is significant too. Because through that experience, God taught me that even in the midst of trials, his blessings are ever present. God’s blessings for his children are everywhere and in everything. Even in the midst of the infection there were blessings. It happened with only nine days left in the school year so I did not get behind. We lived within a half an hour of one of the best hospitals for neurology. The seizures were a blessing because they showed us that something was wrong. The infection may have gone on unnoticed without the seizures and ultimately could have taken my life. Even in the midst of a big trial, God was blessing me in many ways.

More blessings flowed after leaving the hospital. Because we caught it so early, I suffer from very little side effects of the infection. Though there is scarring on my brain, I live a normal life. Other people with the same infection suffer from epilepsy or memory loss as a result. I do not suffer from any major side effects. The complete healing that came by God is a huge blessing in and of itself.

As I result of the infection, I rediscovered many other things I was blessed with. I realized how blessed I was with a good family. I realized how blessed I was to be alive. I began to be so much more thankful for these smaller blessings that I had never really been thankful for before. And as a result of all of this, I did a lot of maturing in the summer of 2009 as I learned to be thankful for the many blessings God had given me that I had never thought about before.

I heard the worship team singing, “You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name,” right before I had my first seizure in the church bathroom. That song so describes what I went through that summer. Though God took away that summer, there were still blessings through it all. And even though he took away, he gave back and in a greater abundance of blessings than before. I had the chance to get angry with God and stop trusting in him. But instead I trusted him in the middle of the storm and blessed his name anyways.

Through it all, God taught me so much and blessed me so much. May 31, 2009 brought on one of the biggest trials of my life. But through that trial, God brought a blessing. Sometimes the trials of this life truly are the biggest blessings in disguise.

The CEF Impact

I wanted to be a missionary around the age of eight years old. By eighth grade, I felt God was calling me into a career in ministry. And at age fifteen, I felt God leading me to be a CEF summer missionary. My pastor saw the gift of evangelism in me at an early age and strongly encouraged me to do it. I did not want to do it, I was terrified! I didn’t think I could teach others about God. But I knew it was something God wanted me to do, and since I knew he always won anyways, I decided to do it.

And I am so glad I did! CEF taught me how to follow God even when I didn’t see results. I learned how to be humble in ministry and do things for God’s kingdom not my personal benefit. But most of all, God used CEF to ignite a passion for ministry in my heart. I had grown up knowing that it was important to go and make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20), but until that point I had never actually done it. And when I did submit my life to service and telling others, I found that I was growing closer to God than ever before. The  training I received through CYIA training school taught me many of the skills I needed to be successful in ministry! My attitude went from, “No God! Not me!” to “Here I am! Lord, send me!” (Isaiah 6:8) instead.

My last summer working with CEF as a summer missionary was 2010. Life went on and I eventually went to college at Davis College, pursuing a bible degree with a dual concentration in teaching English as a second language and Christian counseling. I don’t have all the details other than I know I am called to a career in ministry. So I am trying to make myself as flexible as possible so I can go wherever to work with whomever whenever God tells me to. I have found several different ministries to stay involved while I train for ministry. I lead Bible studies. I am on a leadership team for a worship team. I am also a resident assistant in the dorms. Recently I have begun volunteering at an inner city youth center with at risk children every Saturday and have loved my time there!

Last year, a bit of an unexpected ministry came my way. CEF of Broome County, New York, where the school is located, had recently hired a new director. I had chatted with her a bit and told her about my past experiences. I didn’t expect anything would come of it. But in January of 2013, I got an e-mail saying that they were seeking to hire a student to work in the office and also help with Good News Clubs. I volunteered and got the job! I became the office associate and children’s ministry specialist of CEF of Broome County. I have been working with them since then and still work there currently.  I love my job and the experience I have had there! Before working with CEF again, I thought that I might not be called to children’s work. But since working with CEF again, God has renewed my passion for children’s ministry. I am so blessed to have a job that allows me to evangelize children. I am more passionate about reaching children for Christ than I have ever been before. The work has blessed me so much and my love for the children that need Jesus has grown.

Because of that, I am so thrilled to work as the Summer Coordinator for CEF Pittsburgh.  I realize also that this is a big job! Please pray for me as I seek to find new locations for CEF to bring the gospel. My heart is to do more in the inner city in addition to the suburbs of Pittsburgh. Pray that God would give me wisdom as I lead our summer missionaries in their ministries. And pray that both the summer missionaries and I would have an awesome and life changing summer serving God. Pray that God would go before us and prepare the hearts of the children and even adults that we will be reaching this summer. Pray that God works in and through CEF Pittsburgh in the summer of 2014.

All Grown Up

I turned twenty-one years old today. When did that happen?! I’m not a kid anymore, I am an adult. And sometimes that just seems so weird to me. I have a lot of adult jobs and responsibilities now, like being an RA or coordinating things for CEF. I’m on several leadership teams and do a lot of big girl stuff. I often step back and look at where I am and what I am doing. It’s sort of a surreal feeling, especially when I actually see a picture of me doing these things. My first thought is, “Who is that girl and when did she grow up? Isn’t she still like five years old? Who gave her responsibility?” But the fact of the matter is that I’m not a kid anymore. I am a big girl, I’ve grown up. And while I’m still in this strange transition phase of moving from childhood into adulthood, it becomes more and more obvious that I am moving on. I have to be a big girl now.

I am so grateful for the works God has completed in my life in the past 21 years. He has been faithful to work with me through all of my flaws and still does. In all of the ups and downs that life has brought me, God has been the constant. I have grown closer to him and he has renewed me. I am not the same girl that I was a few years ago, and I praise God for that. Though it’s scary sometimes and feels a bit strange, I am so excited to be entering into this adult life. I know that God will be as faithful to me in the years to come as he has been for the past 21 years. I don’t know what’s to come, but I know he’ll be with me every step of the way. And I can’t wait to get started with the rest of my life!

Being Jesus

In addition to working with Child Evangelism Fellowship, this semester I have also been volunteering for two hours each Saturday at a youth center on the east side of Binghamton. It’s a rough part of town and the kids that attend this youth center come from a lot of different and very rough family backgrounds. I was told that some of them have been or are borderline gang members at the age of nine.

I have been so blessed by my time there. It is very informal and basically all the volunteers do is play with kids for two hours and build relationships. I leave after playing with kids for two hours, and I just feel so refreshed and encouraged. I was talking about this with some friends that also volunteer with me. I realized that I think I am so refreshed by it, because I get to BE Jesus instead of just talking about him.

I am gifting in teaching and so in a lot of the ministries that I am involved in, I do a lot of just that: teaching. And there’s nothing wrong with that! But I am slowly realizing that there are many other ways to show people Jesus without actually teaching about him. And don’t get me wrong, I LOVE teaching God’s word. But I also get to do it a lot. So I think that being in this new environment where I am not really teaching, but just getting to show love to kids, is so inspiring to me. I don’t get to do it a lot and I am so thankful for this opportunity to be able to be Jesus to these kids that desperately need him.

I was also blessed because one of the friends that has been volunteering there with me is a girl from school that I have spent some time mentoring in a sense. It’s been awesome to see her interacting with the kids. She has made a strong connection with one little girl in particular who is a lot to handle. She mentioned to me that the director of the center had said that she was a mentor to that little girl. My friend was excited to me mentoring someone else since she had been so blessed by the mentors in her life. I was blessed because it is so cool to see how God is blessing and multiplying the seeds I have planted for him. It is always refreshing to know that the ministry you are in is not a dead one, but a living one, because you serve a living God who makes it grow.

Two years ago, I wasn’t sure I still had an interest in children’s ministry. Now I am more passionate for it than ever before. God is good, and while I don’t know if children’s ministry is my life long calling, I have been so blessed to be a missionary to the children in Binghamton for the past year.

The picture is of a collage of children's artwork that has been building up this semester. The top left one is from Kaylie, in one of my Good News Clubs. The top middle one is an old one from Caleb, my pastor's son. The top right one and bottom left one are from Naucika at the youth center. And the bottom right one is from Naomi at a different Good News Club. So blessed by these children and their creativity!

 

Kingdom Work

Yesterday in Good News Club, the lesson was on the twelve disciples joining Jesus in his ministry. The application for the kids was to commit their lives wholly to Jesus and go a step further than just believing in him. We were trying to teach the kids to be willing to give everything to Jesus and serve him wholeheartedly. So in addition to giving an invitation for salvation at the end of the message, I gave an invitation for the kids to also commit their lives to Jesus.

I had two little boys come back to talk to me about committing their lives to Jesus. We were discussing what it really meant to commit your life to God. I asked them to explain it to me in their own words.  One little boy spoke up and said, “It means to give up your job for God!” That was pretty close but I want them to understand it didn’t mean you had to be unemployed to serve God. So we were talking about how we could use our jobs to serve God. I asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up, one little boy said, “I wanna make books!” The other boy said, “I wanna be a church pastor!” I started explaining to them how they could use their jobs to serve God. To which one of them said excitedly, “I can make books about God!” And the other boy added, “Yeah! Or you can make Bibles!” The conversation was sweet and warmed my heart. Our time together concluded with me having them pray to commit their lives to God and step over a line to showing they were going all in for Jesus. 

“Dear Jesus, thank you for loving me. I want to give you every part of me. I want you to use me. I will go where you go. I will do what you tell me to. And I will tell whoever you want me to. I give you myself. I commit my life to you.”

Upon reflection of the events yesterday, I am just overwhelmed by how good God is. He is using me to make an impact in these children’s lives and it just blows my mind sometimes. I could be planting seeds and teaching future Christian authors or pastors. And maybe the decision they made started or was helped along because God used me in their lives to plant that seed. I think of all the children that God has allowed me to lead to Christ and I am overwhelmed when I think about how much of an impact that will make on the kingdom. I am one person, but through the people I tell I can make a huge impact in the kingdom of God. And that is ridiculously cool to be a part of!

I don’t say this to brag on myself. It’s nothing I have done. Most of the time I can hardly keep my train of thought long enough to make a statement that means anything, much less stand in front of people and teach them about the Bible. But God uses me in spite of me. He gives me the words to say and leads me in the direction I should go. So it is nothing that I have done through my power. But it sure is cool to see that God can use me in his kingdom anyway.