Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary: The Desert

The Desert

June 22- July 3, 2015

Two weeks of ministry have passed. I meant to write an update sooner after last week but never got around to it. These first two weeks have certainly been busy as I have been spending time preparing myself, rather than the summer missionaries, for the ministry this summer. So I have been learning the lessons for myself, preparing the games, printing and cutting out various hand-outs needed for clubs, and other such preparatory tasks.

The first week of clubs is technically considered the second week of training. The summer missionaries are expected to use the clubs that week to learn how to put all that they learned at training school into action on top of finishing evaluations. AJ was away at camp for that week so I travelled out to Westmoreland County to help Cathy and all of her summer missionaries. We did three clubs there. The first club was at a church in Saltsburg. We had trouble getting the kids in the first club to get excited about what was going on. I think they did have fun in the end though. The second was through a rescue mission in Arnold. The kids there were urban and mostly unchurched kids. It was the hardest of the three clubs because of behavior issues. We crowded around a table made out of a slab of wood on top of crates under a canopy with holes in it every day. But the kids kept coming back and as the week went on, we gained more of their respect. The last was at a daycare in Arnold which was a ton of fun. They were very enthusiastic about everything which makes our program much easier. Talk about three very different clubs! One of Cathy’s summer missionaries said to me, “I like the last club. It’s indoors and the kids are excited to see us and everything is easier.” I responded with, “Yeah… but which club isn’t hearing the gospel anywhere else?” Not all of the clubs were easy but they all needed to hear the gospel. Some of the clubs needed us more than others because we were delivering a message they wouldn’t hear otherwise.

The kids huddled in the shade at Lighthouse Ministries in Arnold, PA.

This past week, AJ was back and we started our first week of ministry in Pittsburgh. We only had four days of clubs this week because of the holiday weekend. Our first club was at a Salvation Army on the North Side and the second one was with a child care center in East Liberty. We were returning to both of these clubs from last summer. I began to get very worried on Saturday night, however, when I started feeling sick. A bad cold had been going around since training school and I caught it. That definitely added a lot of stress to my week. I was not only preparing my first week of clubs on my own, I was also battling a bad cold. I am feeling much better. I'm still slightly congested but I am getting better. It was tough to be at the clubs when I didn’t feel good. Monday and Tuesday in particular were a challenge. Since it is just AJ and myself, I had to teach the lesson, which is about 15 minutes of talking, twice in one day. My voice was hoarse and my throat hurt after both times. Finally by Wednesday, I ended the clubs still having a voice. It was certainly stretching for AJ as I kept assigning him more tasks so he could do more of the talking. He had to step up and lead more than he is used to but I think it was good for him.

We had good groups at both locations. The Salvation Army has a day camp of about 30 kids. It took some time to gain their trust and get them to feel comfortable with us but once we did, they were sad to see us go. The childcare center kids were ages 2-5 so that definitely took some adapting. They have so much energy! As soon as I figured out some activity that would entertain them, it would last about three minutes and then I had to think of another one. I got the hang of it by the end of the week however. After giving the invitation on Thursday, one little girl came back to tell me that she had believed in Jesus for the first time so we are praising God for that. Despite my sickness, the goal was accomplished and we had a successful week.

A little girl named Kayla came back for counseling at the Salvation Army on Thursday. She had already believed in Jesus as her Savior, but she often liked to come back to talk to me. On Thursday she came back and was talking to me about the Bible. “We’re supposed to discover the world through books,” Kayla said, seeming to be quoting something she probably heard in school. “Right,” I said, “And the Bible is an excellent book to discover the world through because it’s God’s word.” She thought about it and then said, “Why do grown-ups always only read the Bible a little bit but then spend the rest of their time reading other books?” OUCH! There have been several occasions that I have seen kids display wisdom beyond their years without knowing it. This was one of them. I tried to explain that since the Bible is a little harder to understand, sometimes we just read a little bit of it to understand it better or sometimes we don’t want to read it because it’s hard to understand. She replied, “But you and Mr. AJ tell us really good stories from the Bible.” I nodded, “There are good stories in the Bible, aren’t there? People should read it more.”

God used Kayla’s innocent question to convict me once again of something that I think he’s been trying to get through my head for a while now. In another conversation this past week with my boyfriend, Patrick, I was expressing some of my feelings of stress and exhaustion with the week since I had been sick, tired, and still had a lot to do. He responded to me by telling me to relax. I responded that I didn’t think there would be opportunity for relaxing until the weekend. He responded by saying, “When I say relax, I just mean that God has it under control. If you don’t take the time to refresh yourself, then you’ll lose your ability to be effective. You can’t continue to pour into the kids if you aren’t allowing time for God to pour into you.” It’s moments like these that make me love and appreciate Patrick all the more. But OUCH! Twice this past week, God used two people, first Patrick, and secondly Kayla, to speak to me.

You see, if I’m being perfectly honest, my relationship with God has not been the first priority in my life lately. I have been neglecting to spend time with him or read his word for some time now. I think I felt the separation, the dryness, that the lack of spending personal time with God brought a little bit before the summer started. But during that time, I was also regularly doing devotions with Patrick as well. When the summer started, I just wasn’t spending any time at all with God. And once the ministry started, I really began to feel it. I noticed it during the second week of training with Cathy. Something felt amiss, something was off. Why didn’t I have the energy like I did last year? Why does this ministry feel so dry? And then this week, though I tried to blame it on the sickness, I knew in my heart it was deeper than that. Where was my passion?

The thing is that there’s no passion in going through the motions. There’s no passion in doing things just to do them. There’s no passion in serving someone if you’re not also enjoying a relationship with them. There’s no passion in serving God if you’re not also spending time with him. When you don’t take any time to refresh yourself with living water, no matter what you do, you’ll find yourself trudging through a desert.

Picture Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert 

Though I’ve spent all summer thus far in ministry, serving God, teaching children about him, I’ve been in a desert.  Because even though I’m telling others how they can experience God’s love, I haven’t been taking the time to experience God for myself. Sometimes in Bible College and ministry you can fall the thought process that being surrounding by the Bible constantly is enough to feed us spiritually. But it’s not! That living water that refreshes you, is found not by talking about the Bible or about God, but by experiencing him for yourself.

I’ve been in a desert. I haven’t been taking time to refresh myself with God. I’ve been pouring out of an empty pitcher. I praise God that he can use me and use my words in spite of my own shortcomings and can still use the lessons I’ve taught and words I’ve ministered with so far this summer. But it’s time to get out of the desert. God showed me that twice this week, through Patrick and Kayla. God not only used the voice of someone I love, he used the voice of a child. I have been reminded just how important it is to spend personal time with God. And yes, I read my Bible this morning. As you pray for me, please pray that I would continue to be reminded of the important lesson I learned this week. Pray that I would be daily refreshing myself in the presence of a God who loves me. And please hold me accountable, ask me how I’m doing. Ask me if I’m staying refreshed. Ask me if I’ve let God lead me out of the desert.

What about you? Are you in the desert? Do you also need to refresh yourself with living water?

Picture Source: http://lwcc.net.au/

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary: We Are Qualified

June 13-21, 2015

It was a long, tiring, and very rainy week, but AJ and I successfully completed another year of CYIA (Christian Youth In Action) training school. We gathered with the rest of the summer staff for Pennsylvania at a camp in Orrstown. Here we conquered classes and study halls that started at 8 AM and ended at 8 PM. I helped Cathy, the director of Westmoreland County, evaluate all of her summer missionaries (she has 8 total) on their Bible lessons, songs, memory verses, and missions stories that they needed to study and then perform for a leader. I enjoyed the opportunity to be able to work with Cathy, her daughter Kim, and all of her teens again. AJ really enjoyed the opportunity to make friends with them and lots of other teens. I also reconnected with some friends from training school when I was a first year summer missionary (2008) and other/newer friends that I made last summer.

The week definitely had its challenging moments as is to be expected when spending a whole week with about a hundred other people. I think it rained every day and we fought several battles with a mop against a small flood (large puddle really) in our cabin. I was definitely ready to get out of the wet humid forest and have a little alone time by the time we were leaving.

This is the beautiful creek that runs around the campground.

But that’s not to say it wasn’t a good week. There were many valuable lessons and reminders during training camp this year. The first, which seemed to be the theme, was the quote “God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called.” This quote was distributed on a little card to all of the students and staff at the start of camp. It seemed that many of the students needed that message. On Saturday when they arrived, many of them were nervous and a bit reserved. By Wednesday however, they were thriving in open air ministry where they shared the gospel through the Wordless Book with children that attended two different events. Whether they felt qualified or not, they were used by God to reach about 150 children on Wednesday night. 20 of those children made first time decisions to trust in Jesus as their Savior. It is definitely easy to feel unqualified when heading into a summer of ministry. But God doesn’t require qualifications to call you into ministry. If you are called, he will qualify you. CYIA training camp certainly qualified AJ and even myself for a summer full of ministry.

For Friday Fun Night, the students participated in a Wild West murder mystery.

Cathy, or "JP James" was the culprit.

The theme verse for the week was 1 Thessalonians 5:24 which says, “He who calls you is faithful. He will surely do it.” Pastor Bob, the CYIA chaplain, would have us recite this verse every morning as he stood to give a chapel message. As the week went on, the verse grew more and more meaningful to me. Particularly on Wednesday night I realized the meaning that the verse had for me. Seven years ago I had arrived at CYIA training school feeling very nervous about what the summer held.  I didn’t even want to do CEF but I knew that I was called and I chose not to argue with that calling. Little did I know in June of 2008 that God had even bigger plans for me through CEF than just the events that the summer held. God used that summer to confirm my calling into a career in ministry. God was preparing, even five years earlier, to provide me with a job in January 2013 when I had school bills to pay and $20 to my name. Through getting hired with CEF Broome, God opened the door to work as the coordinator for Greater Pittsburgh. I did not feel qualified that summer but I was called. And God has surely done it! Once again I was reminded of his great faithfulness in my life. God is still faithful. He surely is still doing things in my life and is still at work.

Some of the other PA directors and I watching the students play games as part of a demo club.

Mike Petkof is the missionary that CEF of Pennsylvania is sponsoring this summer. He is working with CEF in Greece shared with us. He said two things during a few of his presentations that really struck me. The first thing that he said was, "Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt." This is such a good reminder to those in ministry. Our goal should not be to be noticed while we are there, but to be missed once we have left. Pray that CEF Pittsburgh would be remembered and missed as we move from location to location this summer. Secondly, Mike shared with us that, “80% of all those who die today will die believing whatever they believed as children.” There are many children in the world today that don’t yet know about Jesus’ love for them. There are many children in Pittsburgh that have not yet believed on Jesus to save them from their sins. My goal is to reach as many of those children this summer as possible. If they are not reached as children, it is much harder to reach them as adults. Pray that God would go before us and open the hearts of the children in Pittsburgh.

I had a restful Sunday but today I start back up again bright and early. I’ll be joining Cathy in Westmoreland County to help her teens complete their second week of at home training. Cathy has three clubs scheduled with study halls to help her teens finish the rest of their evaluations in between. Pray for me as I’ll be travelling about 45 minutes each way and have another long week ahead of me. Pray for patience and energy as I help Cathy. Pray for AJ as he spends this next week at teen camp. Pray for a few more contacts that I have made, that they will answer my phone calls and either confirm or turn down the opportunity for a club this summer (especially that they’d confirm) so that I can finish the schedule this week. And pray for my brother as he sets off in the morning to travel all the way to Laos. He is spending the summer ministering with our cousin. Pray for travelling safety and ease. Pray for an awesome time in Laos. And pray that God would equip him just as he continues to equip us all.

I still don’t feel qualified in some areas and at some times. But I am called and I know that he is qualifying me day by day. He is faithful.

Please pray for me this summer as I work a laborer of the harvest in Pittsburgh.

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary: The Kick Off

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary: The Kick Off      

May 18-June 12, 2015

The past month has been a bit of a blur. I can’t believe how quickly it has passed by! I returned to Pittsburgh from Binghamton on the 14^th of May (without much help from my car) and got ready to start the summer. There have been some aspects of this year of CEF that have been easier. But there have also been some aspects that have been more challenging.

The first part that has been challenging is that we have only one part time summer missionary other than myself, AJ. Because he splits his summer between CEF and a camp, that leaves three weeks of the summer without a partner. At first I was confident that God would supply someone else. But he didn’t. While that was challenging at first, that doesn’t mean God didn’t provide. He has just provided in a different way than I planned. Two of the three weeks are going to be covered by a Westmoreland missionary, Mary. She helped me last summer as well so I am grateful for her help. One week has yet to be covered, I am working to make arrangements for that week still, but I am confident that God will provide even if it isn’t in the way that I am expecting now. I have continued to book our schedule with lots of good clubs, trusting that God will provide.

The second challenging part has been that I have very much felt like I was running behind schedule for most of the past month. There was so much to do and I felt like I should be twice ahead of where I was. But even in spite of my shortcomings, God has once again pulled it all together. We had several churches seeking out CEF for help with VBSs and whatnot. Though I lost a few locations from last summer, we got into several new ones. I have 15 clubs on the schedule and 3-4 more clubs in the works. I expect God will do a great work in Pittsburgh this summer and I am excited to dive into inner city ministry once again.

Scheduling in and of itself this summer was a bit easier than before since I already had many of my contacts from last summer. I definitely have fewer fears about working as the coordinator this year as compared to last year. I still don’t like making phone calls to strangers, but I was also able to do it with more confidence than last year. 5-Day Clubs are also less intimidating because I know what to expect from most of them. In spite of feeling like I was behind, everything got pulled together just in time and we are on our way to a successful summer of ministry.

This past week I went to a Vertical Church Band concert that was in Pittsburgh. I had gone to the same concert last summer as well. I remember that I had so many fears last summer. I had my fair share of fears about the summer ministry but I was especially struggling with the fear of being lonely in the approaching semester as most of my friends were not returning. One of their songs in particular spoke to me as it was about trusting in Christ, the solid rock, because he never moves. I clung to that song during last summer and even into the fall. I prayed that God would provide friends and I trusted that because God had called me to Davis, he would provide everything I needed. Last summer, God was really speaking to me about being willing to be lonely if that was the kind of trial I needed to grow closer to the Lord. This summer as I was at the concert, they played that song again. I smiled because I realized how different of a place I am in compared to last summer. I realized that God had answered all of those prayers. I had dared to trust God with uncertain situations last summer. This summer, I can look back and see how he was faithful to bring stability and blessings out of all those. I had an awesome summer last summer and God provided me with a best friend to be by my side throughout the school year, my boyfriend Patrick. His faithfulness continues to be evident and I am blessed. I know that God continues to be faithful and I can’t wait to see how his faithfulness is proved this summer.

AJ and I are at the week of state training this week. I’ve already encountered several old friends, and though I am tired, I am having fun. Pray for me as I make final arrangements for the summer. Pray for AJ as he has a long week of classes and evaluations ahead of him. And pray for Pittsburgh. Pray that the city would be ready for a team of CEF Missionaries to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ this summer. I am trusting God’s faithfulness and provision and expecting big things for the summer. 

This is only the kick off.

Porn is for Women Too!

If you love your sisters, daughters, mothers, or any other female in your life, please, please, PLEASE stop asserting that men are the only ones that struggle with watching porn. I’m sure we’ve all heard the generalized comments in our churches, ministries, and schools. “For the men that struggle with pornography…” You may occasionally hear the added in afterthought, “Oh and maybe even some of the girls do too.” Some may even go so far as to say that women do struggle sexually too, but their version of pornography is usually a romantic novel or movie. While that is true for some women, it is not true for others. Some women are trapped in the addiction of watching pornography just as much as men are. In fact, according to the BYU Women’s Services and Resources website, 17 percent of all women struggle with pornography addiction. One in three visitors to adult websites are women. So while there may be statistically more men than women, there is still a large number of women that watch porn. Yet there is a misconception among many in the church today that it is really only men that struggle with this. So if you care about the women in your life, stop asserting that men are the only ones who struggle with watching porn. This misconception does three very damaging things to the women in our society and especially our churches.

Separates Women

When you assert that porn is for men, you separate or isolate women. Based on the statistics above, pornography is clearly not an uncommon struggle for women. However, focusing on men as being the main ones that struggle with it makes any women struggling with it feel cut off from other women. It makes women feel like “freaks” for what they struggle with or that they are alone in their struggle. The fact of the matter is that it is not unusual for women to view pornography and so we must stop treating it like it is. Stop making women feel like they are unusual or separate from other women because of their addiction to pornography.

Silences Women

In addition to separating women, asserting that porn is for men silences women. When you target men as being the ones guilty of watching porn and make women feel alone in their struggle, you make it extremely difficult for them to confess anything. Who would want to admit to doing something that they believe no one else in their gender does? Because statistics have shown that an overwhelming number of men struggle with pornography, it is relatively easy for men to admit this struggle to others and get help for it. But it is the opposite for women. Because people tend to only talk about women struggling with porn as an afterthought, many women do not feel comfortable admitting their struggle to others. The misconception that porn is for men creates an atmosphere where women are unable to voice their need for help. Stop silencing women from admitting their addictions and struggles with pornography.

Shames Women

Lastly, asserting that porn is for men shames women. When you make a woman feel alone in her struggle and create an atmosphere where she feels she can’t confess it, you inevitably leave her to be ashamed of it. Imagine the shame in believing you are among a few of the only freakish women in the world that view porn. Imagine the trapped feeling that would come from being too ashamed to admit your struggle to anyone. With no visible way out, women are often left to try and battle their addiction alone. When they fail as a result of trying to do this on their own strength, there of course is only more shame to come and the vicious cycle continues. Stop shaming women who struggle with pornography.

Stop separating women. Stop silencing women. Stop shaming women. Stop asserting that men are the only ones that struggle with pornography. Stop treating women that struggle with porn as an afterthought. Porn is for women too and there are many women in the world that need help getting out of the addiction. If you want to help these women, it is crucial to break down the misconceptions and create an educated and aware atmosphere of love where women do not have to feel separated, silenced, or shamed anymore.

Live Wide Open

On Thursday night this past week, I started Oswald Chamber’s devotional “My Utmost for His Highest.” He started with a passage found in Philippians 1:18-21 which says, “Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” The devotional talked about the need to live at our best for the glory of God (to be our utmost for his highest). It also briefly discussed living holy lives and being unashamed by following God’s will.

This theme came up the next night. I attended a worship service at a local church. As we sang a song about revival, I started thinking of some theme words that I could focus on in the year 2015. The word “power” specifically came to mind. When I think of this word I think not my own power, but of God’s. As I meditated on the word “power” I was reminded of God’s power to heal, restore, redeem, and revive among many other things.

The topic of that night’s sermon was the blood of Christ. This went perfectly with some of the things God had already been working on with me. I was reminded of the power that exists in the blood of Christ. When Jesus shed his blood on the cross he took my place but also paid the price for my sins. Because of that, I am free from all punishment of my sin. When I chose to be washed in the blood of Christ, or accept the gift of salvation, the price was paid. That means that even though I will continue to sin, I don’t deserve the guilt or shame anymore. That seems like a lofty statement, I know, but it is the truth! I once deserved the guilt and shame from sin. But when I let Jesus pay the price for my sin, it was paid in full. That means I don’t have to deserve that any longer. I am free! I don’t think we let that sink in often enough. Many Christians don’t seem to understand the true weight of what Jesus did on the cross when he shed his blood for us and the weight in the freedom that he offers. We are free from condemnation, guilt, shame, and the punishment of sin. It has been paid and we don’t deserve it anymore. That’s something to be excited about!

During another worship song, I found myself praying, “God, I am sorry for my sin. I’m sorry for continually turning against you. Heal me of my sin. I want to live life unashamed. I want to live a life of integrity. I want to live life wide open. I fully commit myself to you. I will serve you alone. Show me the power of your spirit so that I will choose you and not my flesh. Fill me with so much of you that there is not room for me. Purify my heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.” As I prayed, “I want to live life wide open,” I paused. I truly believe that phrase was from God, not me. I took some time to meditate on what that really meant.

I decided that it means this: I want to live a life where I don’t have to be ashamed about anything. I want my life to be able to be an open door so that people could look over every inch of it without me being afraid of what they might find. I want to live a guilt free life. I want to live a life of integrity. I want to walk in the freedom that Christ offers. In 2015, I want to live wide open.

I need to experience God’s power in a few different ways in order for that to happen. For starters, I need to experience the power of God’s healing. There’s a lot of junk and sin that has already happened in my life. To live wide open, I must experience the healing power of God. I must step into the healing that God offers in order to be redeemed from the sins of yesterday in order to keep from being ashamed of them today. Secondly, I have to experience the power of God’s presence in my life. In the passage I quoted above, Paul expresses the desire to be ashamed of nothing but he mentions that in order to do so, he needs the help of the Holy Spirit. In order to live wide open, I must experience and search for the power of God’s presence. This power is able to help me turn from temptation when I want nothing more than to give in. This power destroys the temptations of my flesh and replaces them with the satisfaction of God’s presence. Lastly, I need to experience the power of God’s filling. Living wide open, ridding my life of addictions, sins, and guilt creates room in my life to be filled with something else. Living wide open means that I am ridding my life of myself in order to be filled with God instead. As Paul states in the passage above: “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.” This sums up the Christ-following lifestyle of self-denial in order to filled something much better: the Holy Spirit.

So in 2015, I’m setting out to discover the true power of God in order to start living my life wide open.

Prepare for Take-Off: My Life in 2014

2014 kinda felt like the year life started taking off for me. There were a lot of changes, some scary and some exciting. There were also a lot of blessings and lessons too. Over all, I grew a lot and changed a lot, so I thought I’d recap my year here.

I definitely make the most of the opportunities that Davis offers and manage to stay pretty busy. I am an RA in the girls’ dorms which also includes leading a small group Bible study, which I enjoy. I am still working with Child Evangelism Fellowship of Broome County as an office assistant and Good News Club teacher. I enjoy doing the office work and also having an opportunity to have a job that allows me to lead children to the Lord and teach them more about him. I continue to be a part of a student led monthly worship night called Ruah. In addition to all of those things, I started volunteering on Saturdays at a youth center in Binghamton. I started taking voice lessons through Davis and really enjoyed getting back into singing. And in my free time (the little I have) I enjoy writing as a hobby. I like to write poems and blog posts and I had a blast writing my first serious novel. I just recently finished and am now in the process of editing it. Mostly I write for fun, but it would be great to see it published someday. Please let me know if you’d like to read it!

I turned 21 in February 2014. I decided to give myself a birthday present by getting my first tattoo. I got the “Blessings, May 31, 2009” tattooed onto my left shoulder blade. That is the date that I had my brain infection and is a reminder to me that even in the biggest trials, God’s blessings can be found. May 31, 2014 marked 5 healthy years since I had the brain infection. I am thankful and blessed! Turning 21 is probably a big reason why I felt like life started taking off. I have definitely noticed a difference in age this year. I have felt myself itching to be more independent and make decisions and choices on my own, which I know is a normal thing to desire and a part of growing up. I know God is preparing me for big things and I can’t wait until my life finishes taking off.

There were several fun events in the spring 2014 semester. My parents came up and celebrated my birthday with me and my friends. I got to go to a masquerade ball at Davis, so that was fun to get dressed up and have a good time with friends. I went on a NYC bus trip with Davis and enjoyed a day touring the city with some of my friends. My favorite thing to do in spring 2014 was to hang out with some of the awesome friends I have made at Davis.

Even though spring 2014 was a good semester, I spent a lot of it feeling rather anxious about my Grandpa’s cancer and knowing that I would have to part ways with my friends at the end of the semester because many of them were moving onto different places. God spoke to me a lot during that time to remind that even though life was uncertain, he was my solid rock, certain and unchanging. On May 6, 2014 I was forced to face both of these impending events that I had been dreading all semester long. It was the last day of the semester and I got a phone call from my mom that Grandpa had passed away. This forced me to also have to say goodbye to my friends a bit early. I had already known how good of friends they all were, but they proved it to me once again that day. As we gathered to say our goodbyes, they went around in a circle and all said something that they loved about me. I got into the car and reluctantly drove away knowing that when I returned to Davis it was going to be a very different place for me. It was definitely an emotional day. As I saw a rainbow in the sky on the drive home, however, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness. Through that rainbow, he reminded me that even on the darkest, rainiest, and cloudiest of days, his faithfulness prevails and he will never let us down even when people come in and out of our lives.

The summer brought on a new kind of adventure. I was finally able to leave my summer job of three years working at Kennywood Amusement Park. Child Evangelism Fellowship of Greater Pittsburgh offered me a job as the Summer Ministries Coordinator. This was definitely a new “big girl” job as I was the acting director over CEF’s 5-Day Club summer ministry and another reason I feel like life started to take off in 2014. My job was to both schedule and oversee the summer missionaries at the 5-Day Clubs. I was blessed when my best friend, Nikki, who I met through CEF in 2008, came and spent a week of her vacation time with me so she could help out. She has been a great friend through the years and I am definitely blessed by her friendship! We reached around 340 kids and saw 50 of them make a decision to ask Jesus to clean their hearts from sin. So it was definitely an exciting summer as God used me in big ways. I was definitely stretched and grew a lot as a result of working with CEF Pittsburgh.

Alex, my brother, joined me at Davis for the 2014-2015 school year. I was a little nervous to start the fall 2014 semester without my friends there. But God continued to speak to me about his faithfulness and provision. The first couple weeks were hard and I faced feeling rather lonely due to the friendship dynamics that had drastically changed without my friends there. It definitely wasn't made any easier when I found out that my pastor of almost 15 years was going to be resigning from my home church because he felt God leading him elsewhere. But God was faithful to provide for me when I met Patrick. Patrick and I got to know each other and after praying about it, we started dating on September 25, 2014. He got to come home with me in October to meet my family and friends. I got to go home with him to Wilmington, North Carolina for Thanksgiving to meet his. Dating and relationships has been something God has been working on my heart with for several years now. So this was a pretty big life step for me to take to get into a relationship with Patrick. But we truly feel God has led us into this relationship with big plans in mind for us. Being in a relationship with Patrick is definitely yet another way that life has started taking off. I am excited to see where God leads us in the next couple of years and am thankful for the company and leadership that Patrick gives me.

I got my first 4.0 in college this past semester at Davis, so that was a nice accomplishment. Though I am a senior, I have one more year after this year because I am doing a double concentration and taking more credits. I will graduate with a bible degree with concentrations in teaching English as a second language and Christian counseling. Right now I am feeling called to ministry within the states, possibly in the inner city with children. We will see where God leads though! I enjoy being involved in various things at Davis and will definitely be sad when my time there comes to a close.

One of the major themes of 2014 has definitely been God’s faithfulness. Though there were many changes and big steps in 2014, God remained the same through it all. I have faith that as my life continues to take off and I continue to change, God will be right there with me, guiding me and anchoring me in the faithful way that he always has.

I hope that God is as good and faithful to you in 2015 as he was to me in 2014.

The Lonely Christmas

The Lonely Christmas

Twas the morning of Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
No one was coming to join in the jubilee.
No extra friends and no extended family.

Just one small family together for the holiday,
You see, everyone else was very far away.
Christmas apart can feel very lonely,
The house is quiet and it is family only.

It doesn’t feel like much of a celebration.
No extra fuss, no need for exclamation.
A loss of fellowship and camaraderie, 
Can often feel like Christmas joy robbery.

But so long ago on that oh holy night,
One small family met for that first silent night.
In a town far from home, away in a manger,
No friends or family came, just a few strangers.

And yet despite the lack of familiar faces,
A heavenly host came singing their praises.
Glory to God in the highest, Christ is born today.
Let us not forget, he’s the reason for this holiday.

So even though no extra people have come,
And that makes it quite easy to feel so glum.
Jesus was born to save us from our sinful state.
For that reason, there’s always cause to celebrate.

Christmas is not about Santa and presents,
It’s not about fellowship, friends, or events.
It’s about taking time to remember the day,
When God became flesh and chose to stay.

Help us to remember, Lord, what this day is all about.
The hope and joy you offer give us grounds to shout.
Remind us that you are with us always,
And that includes all of our lonely holidays.

So even when we’re feeling quite sad and alone,
We can still take joy in the love you’ve shown.
Though at times we feel the burn of unacceptance,
Let us always find peace in your holy presence.

Merry Christmas Jesus.