Freedom

Dough Stanton, a revivalist, has been doing a four day series of preaching and ministry at a local church. Tonight was the second night of it. 

Prior to tonight, I had really been struggling with what it meant to be a "new creation." My old creation comes out a lot, and I am often haunted by memories of behaviors of my old creation. I had really been struggling with this in the sense of addictions as well. I had been struggling with a couple different types of addictions that was also a part of my old creation and not the new. It doesn't matter what the addictions were, it only matters that they were taking away from my relationship with God.

During worship tonight I was talking to God about this. And he was reminding me that I am a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come. I was overwhelmed with his love for me and the way he has forgiven me. I realized that I am his, but I am not God's only because this is something I've chosen to do. I am God's because he has chosen me in spite of me! Wow! In spite of all my dirt and sin, God still wanted me! He still loved me enough to pick me and use me for his glory. How good it is to serve a God that redeems. Throughout the rest of the night, God continued to remind me that he loves me and I am forgiven and have the righteousness of God because of Jesus' death on the cross.

At the end of the night, Doug called everyone to the front of the church to be prayed over. He saw me in the crowd, and the Spirit must have shown him that I needed prayer, because I didn't even have to ask for prayer, Doug just laid hands on me and began to pray for me. I don't remember what all he said, but I felt the power of the Holy Spirit come into me and started to feel faint and I fell backwards into the hands of other church members. "Freedom!" I heard a man saying as I went down.

As I was lying on the ground, I used my time to try and shut out what was going on around me and just let God talk to me. "Freedom." The word kept bouncing around in my mind. "Meet me in this place," I said to God. And sure enough, he began speaking to heart. 

God spoke something like these words to me, "When you are tempted, reach out for my voice and my love instead. Hear my voice calling out to you instead of your own. I love you. I see what you've done and it's already been forgiven. I'm going to get you through this. I am going to get you out of this, because I love you."