God is Worthy of my Trust: May 31, 2009

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Five years ago today I had two seizures and was diagnosed with viral encephalitis, a brain infection. I spent eighteen days in a hospital and had more needles and scans done of my body and brain than I ever thought I’d need. I was bed-ridden the other half of the summer and not able to take part in any of the things I had planned for the summer. Those plans had included being a section captain in my high school’s marching band and spending my summer serving God as a Child Evangelism Fellowship summer missionary. But instead, I got sick, really sick. I couldn’t understand why God was doing this to me! I was going to spend my summer serving him, why had he allowed me to get sick and taken that away from me? I remember being in the hospital and feeling like God spoke to me and asked, “Lindsey, do you trust me?” I didn’t respond, because the honest answer was that at that point it felt too hard to trust God.

But this verse, Psalm 46:10, became one of the many themes for that summer. In the midst of that crazy and unpredictable trial in my life, I had to be still and trust that God was God and he was in control. I had to sit back and take a breather, I was kind of forced to do that since I was so sick anyways. But it allowed me to pause, be still, and remember that God is God. He is the one who holds our past, present, and future. And even though life didn’t make sense at that point in time, God had never stopped being God. He had always been in control, I just had to trust him. He was in control, he was bigger than the situation, and he was worthy of my trust.

And he did not fail me. He healed me in miraculous ways, not instantly, but still miraculously. The doctors are shocked when I go back for check-ups because I’m doing so well for someone who had such a serious illness. I suffer from little to no side effects. And it’s all because of God, he wasn’t finished with me yet. He still had a plan, and even though it was a hard time in my life, I just had to learn to trust God. I look back on this day as a sort of second birthday. It’s special to me because it reminds that God is good and faithful and trustworthy. And that day, May 31, 2009, changed me for the better in so many ways. I am grateful I went through what I did because it made me a stronger person.

I got the word “Blessings” tattooed on my shoulder with the date of my brain infection and seizures underneath. I got it to remind me that even when life is crazy, and even when it seems like God is taking things away, he also gives many blessings. It’s a reminder to me, to be still, know that God is in control, and just trust him. I hope my story reminds you of the same, and I hope the next time you are going through a hard time, you remember to pause and take time to trust God because he is faithful and worthy of our trust.

Blessings,
Lindsey

May 31, 2009, I was lying in the hospital with a swollen brain. May 31, 2014, I am well and healthy and living a normal life and enjoying the many blessings he continues to give me.

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary: Being Brave

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary

Week 2: May 17-23, 2014 
Being Brave

This week I learned that I, in fact, can do this. I beat my shyness early on in the week and started making phone calls to strangers on a list of contacts to set up some clubs in the area. People really are nicer than I build them up to be in my mind. And I really should give them more credit. I think part of it is that I am learning to be an adult, and so a major step in that is learning to talk business with other adults on the phone. I am building confidence and learning that I can do this. I have some good leads and I think this summer will fill up nicely.

I also attended a committee meeting on Monday night for our Pittsburgh chapter. I got to meet the summer missionary that will be working with me this summer, her name is Chloe. We helped her get a lot of paperwork done as she decided towards the end of the school year that she was going to do it. But we got her all set up and I think we’ll have a great summer working together. Other than the board meeting, I spent my week making phone calls to schedule clubs and getting some forms and paperwork done. I’m in the preparatory stages of my ministry this summer right now. It’s my job to make sure everything gets scheduled and set up so the summer missionaries and I are ready to go after our week of training is over.

Last weekend I had heard on the radio that Bethel worship team was coming to Pittsburgh on Thursday. So I contacted one of my good friends, Nikki, who lives about an hour and a half from me to see if she’d like to go with me. She did so we spent Thursday night at this worship night that Bethel church worship put on. The theme of their tour is “Be Brave.” I really enjoyed the time of worship and also fellowship.

After the concert was over, Nikki and I and some friends of hers that had also attended the worship night went out to Applebee’s. I always appreciate good Christian fellowship with people my age while I’m home because I don’t get a lot of it. Nikki’s friend, Josiah, and I were discussing ministry and callings and things like that. I was sharing a little bit about the calling God had placed on my life and the journey he was leading me through. I mentioned that just a few years ago I was determined to go and work in overseas missions as far from the USA as I could get. But slowly, God began softening my heart for the states. And God had even dealt with a lot of the bitterness I had in my heart against the city of Pittsburgh and the people here.

I shared with Josiah something I’d heard a minister say a few years ago. That was that England used to be the missionary hub, the country that sent out missionaries to all other countries. But because they didn’t focus on their own country they lost it. And now the same thing is happening in the United States, we’re sending missionaries all over the world but we are losing our own country. After I said that to Josiah, he responded by saying, “I think that God is calling people with missionary hearts to stay in the states for that exact reason, to do missions here.” After graduating, I wanted to get as far from Pittsburgh as I could to go and do missions. Now, just three years later, here I am… a missionary in Pittsburgh.

God truly does have a sense of humor.

After getting home from Applebee’s, I had some time to really reflect on the concert and the theme of being brave. I am at a point in my life where I’m facing a lot of fears. But the Bible says that perfect love casts out fear. I know that there’s so much more to this relationship with God, a whole new level of intimacy and closeness with him that I haven’t tapped into yet. And I think a large part of the reason I have some of the fears I do, is because I’m only just getting to know God on a deeper level and I don’t really know his love personally yet. In all honesty I tend to rely on other people or my friends for that love before I rely fully on God for love.  But I know that I need to know God and his love in order for his love to wipe my fears away. And when I let God’s love take my fears away, then I can be brave.

I feel as though God may be leading me into a season of loneliness right now. I often face loneliness in Pittsburgh because I don’t have many friends from my high school years anymore. And at Davis I am anticipating loneliness because many of my friends moved on and won’t be returning in the fall. But I think God may be leading me into this for the purpose of leading me into a deeper relationship with him. It may be that only through loneliness will I really step into this closer walk with God and come to really know his love.  I think God may be taking away some people from my life right now so that I learn to gain love from God first, not my friends. But he gives and takes away, and although he’s taking away some people I’ve grown very close to, he will give a deeper and more intimate relationship with him. And that’s something worth being lonely for. So while that terrifies and excites me all at the same time, I’m trusting that God knows what he’s doing and I’m taking his hand and am letting him lead me step by step down this adventure. The Sidewalk Prophets touch on this in their song, Keep Making Me, it’s the idea that if being lonely is what it takes to be closer to you, then God, make me lonely.

Thank you for all your support! I’ve raised $730 towards my goal of $1500 so any support you can give is appreciated. I’m also trying to collect some toys or prizes to give away, so if you have any you’d like to donate please let me know. And I’m still scheduling clubs in the area so if you have any ideas of places I could partner with, let me know. And keep praying for me! Pray that God would start preparing the hearts of children and parents in the Pittsburgh area as we prepare to minister here. Pray that I can know God’s love that casts out fear and learn to be brave in all things. Pray that I would keep being brave in my attempts to lead summer missionaries in this ministry this summer. Pray that I would be brave as God leads me into this season of loneliness. Pray that I would be brave enough to do things that stretch me, and make me nervous, and even scare me. Pray that I can be brave.

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary: Can I Do This?!

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary
Week 1: May 12- May 16, 2014
Can I Do This?!

This week was the first week of summer. On Sunday we returned from Nebraska for my Grandpa’s funeral and then the summer was off to its start! The week was rather interrupted by a trip up to Davis to get the rest of my stuff and then trying to get unpacked and settled for the week. I spent some time making an office for myself in our spare bedroom as I’ll be working from home quite a bit, especially in the first month of preparing for the summer ministries.

But despite getting everything else done, I did manage to spend Monday sending a few e-mails and trying to figure out how to get started on this job. I put out a couple pleas for 5-Day Club hosts and contacted a couple pastors.  I think I have three clubs set up so far, and for a week as busy as this past one, I’d say that’s not too bad. I have had a couple moments that are a little overwhelming. This is a big job and a part of me is still trying to figure out why they gave it to someone as young as me (in my mind I often still feel like I’m about 13 years old). But the reality of the situation is that I’m not 13 years old, I’m 21 and God has called me to big things this summer. And I know I can do it with his help.

I chose this job because I wanted to be challenged and stretched with a new and big job that I haven’t done before. And I am definitely finding it to be both challenging and stretching. Whether it’s facing my dislike of calling strangers on the phone and facing awkwardness or searching throughout the Pittsburgh area for more contacts, I’m being stretched. And while it’s a little overwhelming and I’m feeling a little under qualified, I’m remembering that I can do it with Christ who strengthens me. I’m looking forward to seeing who I become and how I change through all of this challenging and stretching God is going to do in my life this summer.

Right now you can be praying for me as I tackle this new job all by myself. Pray for wisdom and for locations for 5-Day Clubs. Pray that I’ll get the hang of it and be able to do it with confidence through Christ. Pray that I won’t become discouraged or overwhelmed, but will instead power through and get the job done and do it well.

I’ve also raised $605 in support. Thanks so much to those of you that have given! You have been so generous! But my ideal goal is $1500. Remember, I’m working as a missionary this summer and the support I raise helps me pay the bills I have in the fall. I appreciate any help you can give. You can still give until May 31 by sending in your donation to CEF of Greater Pittsburgh, Box 122, Wexford, PA 15090, designating your gift as "5-Day Club Coordinator Support." A tax deductible receipt will be issued.

Thanks for your support guys! Keep praying and let me know if you want to host a 5-Day Club in the Pittsburgh area this summer!

The Rainbow: God's Faithfulness

God typically teaches me a different lesson each school year or at least each semester. And this past semester, he made his lesson theme very clear: God is faithful. This was a theme for the semester because I had many things that were making life a little crazy. I had to decide on a summer job. My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and was soon going to pass away. And it would be my last semester with some very close friends before their lives took them other places. And these were only the cherries on top of the disastrous sundae that was comprised of school, being an RA, and work. It was a very stressful semester at times, but God has made his message clear. Even in the midst of the craziness of life… he forever remains the same, he is the solid unchanging rock, he is faithful.

Well my grandpa went home to Heaven earlier this week. I had just finished with finals and so I quickly got a few things packed and headed back home as fast as I could so I could leave with my brother and dad for Nebraska for his funeral. Hearing that Grandpa had died brought one of those elements of the unknown to a close. And because I had to rush back home so quickly, I was also forced to face another one of those unknown elements in the same day. I had to say goodbye to all those friends that would be moving onto other things in the next semester. It was hard day, to both accept that Grandpa was no longer here on earth with us and to also accept that many of these friendships as I had known them would be changing. I faced these two things that were unknown and scary and I had to do them in the same day within hours of each other. But I said goodbye to my friends. They were wonderful as they gathered around and built me up with encouragement before waving me off on my journey home. And then I started the six hour drive home.

On the way home something beautiful happened. I was driving through the mountains of Pennsylvania when I noticed a rainbow in the sky. But this wasn’t a typical rainbow spanning across the sky. This rainbow was just kinda peeking out from behind some clouds. It didn’t make much sense to me for a rainbow to be in the sky, because there had been no rain at all on this six hour drive. But it was there in the sky, a thick and beautiful rainbow just showing a little bit through a gap in the clouds.

And that rainbow immediately reminded me of God’s faithfulness. The first rainbow was a sign given to Noah after the flood as a promise that he would never do that again. And God was faithful to keep that promise. So when I saw that rainbow in the sky I was reminded of God’s faithfulness. I was reminded that even though people enter and exit our lives or even the world sometimes, God remains the same forever. Even when times change, God does not change at all. God is faithful, always there for us, and always keeping the promises he makes to us. I truly believe God stuck that rainbow in the sky just for me, to remind me that even though I was having a very hard day and facing some very scary and uncertain circumstances in life, God was still faithful.

Through tears I smiled at that rainbow and cried out to God, “I trust you!” My life is crazy, uncertain, and a little scary right now. But God is faithful no matter what. And even though friends, grandparents, and whoever else may not be around forever, God will be. And he is faithful to provide for all of my needs and be there even when no one else is. 

Even when the trials in life seem to be clouding everything else up: look out for that rainbow in the cloudy sky. It’s there to remind you that God is faithful.