Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary: Being Brave

Confessions of a Pittsburgh Missionary

Week 2: May 17-23, 2014 
Being Brave

This week I learned that I, in fact, can do this. I beat my shyness early on in the week and started making phone calls to strangers on a list of contacts to set up some clubs in the area. People really are nicer than I build them up to be in my mind. And I really should give them more credit. I think part of it is that I am learning to be an adult, and so a major step in that is learning to talk business with other adults on the phone. I am building confidence and learning that I can do this. I have some good leads and I think this summer will fill up nicely.

I also attended a committee meeting on Monday night for our Pittsburgh chapter. I got to meet the summer missionary that will be working with me this summer, her name is Chloe. We helped her get a lot of paperwork done as she decided towards the end of the school year that she was going to do it. But we got her all set up and I think we’ll have a great summer working together. Other than the board meeting, I spent my week making phone calls to schedule clubs and getting some forms and paperwork done. I’m in the preparatory stages of my ministry this summer right now. It’s my job to make sure everything gets scheduled and set up so the summer missionaries and I are ready to go after our week of training is over.

Last weekend I had heard on the radio that Bethel worship team was coming to Pittsburgh on Thursday. So I contacted one of my good friends, Nikki, who lives about an hour and a half from me to see if she’d like to go with me. She did so we spent Thursday night at this worship night that Bethel church worship put on. The theme of their tour is “Be Brave.” I really enjoyed the time of worship and also fellowship.

After the concert was over, Nikki and I and some friends of hers that had also attended the worship night went out to Applebee’s. I always appreciate good Christian fellowship with people my age while I’m home because I don’t get a lot of it. Nikki’s friend, Josiah, and I were discussing ministry and callings and things like that. I was sharing a little bit about the calling God had placed on my life and the journey he was leading me through. I mentioned that just a few years ago I was determined to go and work in overseas missions as far from the USA as I could get. But slowly, God began softening my heart for the states. And God had even dealt with a lot of the bitterness I had in my heart against the city of Pittsburgh and the people here.

I shared with Josiah something I’d heard a minister say a few years ago. That was that England used to be the missionary hub, the country that sent out missionaries to all other countries. But because they didn’t focus on their own country they lost it. And now the same thing is happening in the United States, we’re sending missionaries all over the world but we are losing our own country. After I said that to Josiah, he responded by saying, “I think that God is calling people with missionary hearts to stay in the states for that exact reason, to do missions here.” After graduating, I wanted to get as far from Pittsburgh as I could to go and do missions. Now, just three years later, here I am… a missionary in Pittsburgh.

God truly does have a sense of humor.

After getting home from Applebee’s, I had some time to really reflect on the concert and the theme of being brave. I am at a point in my life where I’m facing a lot of fears. But the Bible says that perfect love casts out fear. I know that there’s so much more to this relationship with God, a whole new level of intimacy and closeness with him that I haven’t tapped into yet. And I think a large part of the reason I have some of the fears I do, is because I’m only just getting to know God on a deeper level and I don’t really know his love personally yet. In all honesty I tend to rely on other people or my friends for that love before I rely fully on God for love.  But I know that I need to know God and his love in order for his love to wipe my fears away. And when I let God’s love take my fears away, then I can be brave.

I feel as though God may be leading me into a season of loneliness right now. I often face loneliness in Pittsburgh because I don’t have many friends from my high school years anymore. And at Davis I am anticipating loneliness because many of my friends moved on and won’t be returning in the fall. But I think God may be leading me into this for the purpose of leading me into a deeper relationship with him. It may be that only through loneliness will I really step into this closer walk with God and come to really know his love.  I think God may be taking away some people from my life right now so that I learn to gain love from God first, not my friends. But he gives and takes away, and although he’s taking away some people I’ve grown very close to, he will give a deeper and more intimate relationship with him. And that’s something worth being lonely for. So while that terrifies and excites me all at the same time, I’m trusting that God knows what he’s doing and I’m taking his hand and am letting him lead me step by step down this adventure. The Sidewalk Prophets touch on this in their song, Keep Making Me, it’s the idea that if being lonely is what it takes to be closer to you, then God, make me lonely.

Thank you for all your support! I’ve raised $730 towards my goal of $1500 so any support you can give is appreciated. I’m also trying to collect some toys or prizes to give away, so if you have any you’d like to donate please let me know. And I’m still scheduling clubs in the area so if you have any ideas of places I could partner with, let me know. And keep praying for me! Pray that God would start preparing the hearts of children and parents in the Pittsburgh area as we prepare to minister here. Pray that I can know God’s love that casts out fear and learn to be brave in all things. Pray that I would keep being brave in my attempts to lead summer missionaries in this ministry this summer. Pray that I would be brave as God leads me into this season of loneliness. Pray that I would be brave enough to do things that stretch me, and make me nervous, and even scare me. Pray that I can be brave.