Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Pablo's Story



This is a short story that I wrote as a final project for an ESL class. But I really enjoyed writing it and wanted to share it! I hope you enjoy it!


Pablo’s Story
Zoey leaned her head against the headrest and tried to get a little shut eye. It was a more difficult task than she had expected, however, as the plane she was on was filled with the rest of her noisy youth group. Zoey was studying English in a local community college, but when her parents had heard that their church youth group was taking a mission trip to Mexico they had insisted that Zoey go along with her younger brother, Will. “It will be a great experience for you!” they had insisted. Zoey’s parents were for some reason under the impression that she needed to get out more. So Zoey had been signed up to go on the mission trip to Mexico as a team leader.
                Zoey didn’t manage to get much sleep in the middle of the excited teens. But it wasn’t long before the team of fifteen reached the airport in Mexico. They gathered their belongings and made their way through the airport. Zoey and the other leaders found themselves constantly counting heads to make sure everyone was there. They slowly made their way through customs, found their baggage, and then waited to be picked up in a bus by the ministry they were working with for the week.
                Possibly the thing that Zoey was dreading the most about this trip she had been forced to go on was that they were staying in a village that didn’t even have running water. The group would be staying in a very primitive building and would probably be sleeping on hard floors. Zoey wasn’t even sure she’d be able to shower while she was there! She didn’t think she was called to do missions work anyways, why couldn’t someone else have gone on this trip?
                The group loaded the buses and in a short amount of time they were on their way towards the village. They were working with a ministry called “Manos de Dios,” which Zoey had been told meant “Hands of God.” The ministry did everything from running an orphanage to hosting a soup kitchen every other night for hungry people in the village. The team would be helping both in the orphanage and in the kitchen in addition to leading a couple worship services at the church, “La Iglesia de Jesucristo” or “The Church of Jesus Christ,” that the ministry was based out of.
                It was a bumpy bus ride over dirt roads and rocky terrain. It took almost another two hours to get from the small airport they had landed in to the village that the ministry was in. Zoey was relieved when the bumpy bus ride was finally over. She had been reading in the bus and had not really been taking time to look at the sights they had been passing. She was sobered when she stepped out of the bus and saw the village that was clearly stricken by poverty. The houses seemed to be built out of any random pieces of wood or metal that the people could find. These makeshift houses seemed to go on forever though. There were no paved roads, instead the houses were just sitting in the middle of a muddy field. Zoey noticed a few brown faces looking at the bus that had just arrived and she noticed how skinny they were.
                The team made their way into a large concrete building that stood out like a sore thumb amongst the small homes of the people. It was explained to them that a few years ago some teams helped build the facility over the course of one summer. That is the same building that the church met in and it also had some rooms for the orphans.
                Zoey did feel sad for the people that had to live in this town that were obviously very poor. But she still wasn’t really looking forward to sleeping on a hard floor that night. She felt like she was out of her element and didn’t belong in this other country.
*             *             *             *             *
The next day the team rose bright and early. They were breaking up to help with the different facets of the ministry for the first day. Some of the boys were going to help with some construction projects and other girls had volunteered to help in the kitchen. Zoey hated both of those things, so she decided to go and help in the orphanage that day.
She walked into a large play room with lots of old and dirty looking children’s toys lining the walls. She looked around and saw twenty to thirty small children playing with some of them. One of the youth group girls turned to their translator, Maria, and asked, “Are all of these children orphans from this town?”
Maria nodded and said in her Spanish accent, “Yes, some are from other close towns,” she said, “But some have parents that are still alive. The parents cannot take care of their children and so they send them here.”
Zoey and the other girls that had volunteered began playing with the children. Zoey had taken some Spanish classes in high school and still remembered a few words. She decided to try and see if she could strike up a conversation with the little girl she was playing with. “Como te lama?” she tried asking the little girl her name.
The little girl first gave her a funny look and then giggled. Maria helped Zoey, “Say it with a ‘y’ sound. In Spanish the double L is a different letter. We say it like you say a ‘y’.”
“Oh right,” Zoey said, “Como te llama?” she tried again.
“Como te llamas?” the little girl asked her as if to see if she could understand what Zoey had been trying to ask.
Maria helped again. “Spanish has different verb endings. So when you are talking to someone and saying ‘you’ but saying it informally, like to someone younger than you, it has an ‘–as’ or ‘–es’ ending.”
“Oh yeah,” Zoey said, “I forgot things are conjugated differently and it’s not just one word for things but different verb endings instead. Okay, como te llamas?”
The little girl smiled, “Me llamo Graciella. Y tu?”
Maria smiled and looked at Zoey. “She said her name is Graciella and she wants to know your name.”
Zoey thought to make sure she’d get it right this time. She knew it was another different verb ending when she was saying her name instead of asking someone else’s name. “Me llamo Zoey.”
“Soey!” Graciella exclaimed.
“No,” Zoey said, “Zzzzz-oey.”
But Graciella just smiled and said again, “Soey!”
Maria explained, “Spanish does not really have a ‘z’ sound. The letter is pronounced more like an ‘s’ sound. That is why she is saying Soey. The other way is hard for her.”
Zoey played with Graciella for a while, trying to practice her Spanish as she went. She held up a pink play car and said, “Rosado carro, si?”
Graciella laughed and shook her head. Maria stepped in to help once again. “In Spanish, we put the adjective after the noun. So you just held that up and said it was a pink that was car, instead of a pink car.”
“Oh right,” Zoey said laughing. She wasn’t doing a very good job with Spanish but she was at least enjoying herself trying. “El carro rosado?”
Graciella nodded and laughed, “Si! Si! Muy bien!” Zoey understood that, Graciella had said, “Yes! Yes! Very good!”
Zoey played with Graciella and the other orphans for the remainder of the afternoon. At night she helped serve a dinner right before she practiced with the teens for the drama they were going to put on at the church the following night.
*             *             *             *             *
                Eventually the week that they had spent with Manos de Dios and Iglesia de Jesucristo came to a close. The team loaded the bus once again and prepared to drive the two hours back to the airport to return to the United States. Zoey was surprised at the sadness she was feeling as she packed up her things. The trip had been marked by sleeping on hard floors, eating food that didn’t taste very good, going days without a good shower, and only being able to drink out of a bottle of water.
But Zoey had also fallen in love with the people in this small town. She had learned so much from them even in a short amount of time. She had learned what it meant to be truly thankful when she had seen the townspeople that went days without food and didn’t even have a real home worshiping more passionately than anything she had ever seen in the States. She had realized how much she had to be thankful for when she had been holding infants without parents and serving hungry people food. And she realized that God was big enough to use even small people like her or the teens in the youth group to show people in the town the love of Jesus. It had been a good experience for Zoey and she was sad to be going home.
The team loaded their stuff onto the bus and then began the long journey back to the states. It was much quieter this time as most of them were very sad to be returning home. They had made it about an hour and the bus seemed to be in the middle of the jungle when the bus slowed and then stopped suddenly.
“Stay quiet,” the bus driver instructed the group in broken English. Zoey looked up and saw some men dressed in all black standing in the middle of the road in front of the bus. Fear and panic hit Zoey’s stomach like a bag of bricks when she saw the large guns that the men were holding.
A leader of the ministry that had been travelling with them stood and said quietly to the group in his Spanish accent, “Stay calm and be quiet. These are some men that call themselves ‘Los Bandidos’ or ‘The Bandits.’ We don’t know what they will do or what they may want. But stay quiet and we will see if the Mexicans here can talk them out of bothering us.”
Zoey stood and sat next to her brother, holding his hand tightly. The rest of the group leaders tried to keep the teens quiet and calm. Some of them had started crying. The ministry leader and the bus driver had gone outside and were talking to the men dressed in black in Spanish. The yelling in Spanish was getting louder and louder and Zoey wished that she could understand what was going on.
And then Zoey heard the first gun shot. She didn’t dare look outside and she knew it would be impossible to keep the group quiet after that. The teens began screaming and crying. Zoey clenched Will’s hand even tighter. “I love you!” Zoey said to him as tears of fear welled up in her eyes.
The Bandidos came onto the bus and started grabbing members of the team and making them get off the bus. Zoey closed her eyes and whispered a prayer, “Please Lord! Please give us your protection! Please God, help us!” Zoey was yanked up out her seat by her hair and was pushed forward to get off the bus.
When they had removed the whole team from the bus they lined them up along the road. None of them moved out of fear for what would happen to them. Zoey was sure that this must be the end of all of their lives. She closed her eyes out of dread when she saw the men in black raise their guns and aim them at the team. She cried out loud in prayer then, “Oh God! Save us!” She continued praying out loud expecting to her herself praying over the sound of more gunshots.
But she heard no more gunshots. Instead the man who seemed to be the leader of the group was staring at her with an open mouth and surprised eyes. Zoey tried to remember what she had said but the prayer she had just uttered was a blur in her mind. The leader lowered his gun and said something in Spanish to the other Bandidos. The rest of them lowered their guns and instead began to push the team along the road.
The team eventually came to a building with barbed wire around it. The team was led inside and was placed in a prison cell. Angry Spanish arguing could be heard amongst the Bandidos. The team didn’t know what was going on or what would happen to them. Many of the teens were still crying and Zoey continued praying for safety for them all. It had been clear that God had protected them so far. She prayed that he would continue to do so.
“Zoey,” Will said to her, “What did you say to them back there?”
“What do you mean?” Zoey asked her brother very confused.
“You said something in Spanish,” he said, “What did you say?”
Zoey was baffled. “I was just praying, I didn’t say anything in Spanish.”
“I couldn’t hear exactly what you said,” Will said, “But I know I heard Spanish come out of your mouth. And whatever you said saved our lives.” Zoey was overwhelmed with the goodness of God. She knew that God must have given her the words to say in the moment when she needed them the most. She wondered what words God had given her that had saved their lives.
The Bandidos came back into the prison and the leader pointed at Zoey and said something in Spanish. One of the other guards grabbed Zoey by the arm and began to lead her out of the prison cell. Will jumped up to follow Zoey. “No! If you take her you take me too!” he said trying to motion what he was trying to say with his arms.
Zoey didn’t know what they were going to do to her. But she turned to the leader and said in the few Spanish words she could remember, “Por favor, mi hermano!” Please! My Brother! She had said. The leader looked at her with cold eyes but gruffly nodded and motioned for the men to take Will too.
Zoey and Will left the rest of the group and were led down a hall to another room in the building. They were forced to sit down when they got there and the Bandidos were speaking in fast Spanish to each other that Zoey and Will were unable to understand. “Please God!” Zoey prayed, “Protect us!”
The leader came in and looked at Zoey. “Quien eres tu?”
Zoey wasn’t sure what he was asking and she just whispered quietly an answer in the little Spanish she could remember, “No hablo espanol!” I don’t speak Spanish! That was the one phrase she had come to Mexico being prepared to use, she had not expected to use it like this.
The leader seemed angry and slammed his fists on the table. “Dime la verdad! Habla español! ¿Quién es usted?”
Zoey just shook her head. She didn’t know what to say. The leader was frustrated with her silence and they all stormed out of the room again.  Zoey and Will were left alone in the room for hours. They began to do the only thing they knew to do and started praying. They prayed for their own protection and also the protection of the team. “God,” Zoey prayed, “Use us to make a difference in the lives of these men. Even now in this darkness we face, use us.” They felt like they had been praying for hours when the leader of the Bandidos finally came back into the room.
He did not seem angry this time. He said slowly, “Quiero aprender Inglés.”
Zoey and Will did not understand at first. “Please God! Give me an understanding of what he is saying!” Zoey prayed silently.
The leader repeated himself again, “Quiero aprender Inglés.”
Zoey thought the words over in her head and suddenly she began to remember words she had learned in high school. “He wants to learn English!” she said to Will, “Si! Si!” she said to the man.
“Zoey!” Will said, “How are we going to teach him English? You barely know Spanish!”
Zoey shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said, “But we will just have to figure it out.”
Zoey looked at the man and tried to convey that they could start tomorrow, “Mañana?”
The leader glanced from the floor to her and then nodded shortly. “Si.” With that he left the room once again.
Zoey and Will immediately began brainstorming ways that they could teach him English. Even though Zoey wasn’t in school to teach English, she knew that having studied English would help. After a little while the two of them had come up with a plan to teach the leader of the Bandidos English.
When the next day came, Zoey prayed that God would divinely give her the use and memory of the Spanish language so she would be able to teach them more effectively. The leader came into the room after a little while and sat down, “Teach,” he said in a very rough accent.
And the English class in the middle of the Bandidos hideaway began. Zoey and Will started by giving the leader, whose name they learned was Pablo, a bunch of vocabulary. They started by teaching him nouns. Pablo would bring in different objects and Zoey and Will would tell him the English word for the object. They would also draw pictures on pieces of paper to show him different words. After a while, Zoey and Will realized that they were also learning Spanish because Pablo would often tell them the Spanish word for the objects.
After a while, Zoey and Will were teaching more than just Pablo. The other Bandidos had joined the class as well and were learning English too. When Zoey and Will were ready to move onto verbs they had fun having the Bandidos do a bunch of different actions while saying the English word for them. “Stand!” They would say as they all stood on chairs. “Sit!” everyone said as they sat down. “Run! Jump! Sing! Talk!” The verbs went on and on. Eventually the Bandidos had a large vocabulary of both nouns and verbs.
Once their vocabulary had grown, Zoey went on to try and teach them more difficult grammar sentences. Her knowledge of the Spanish language had been refreshed after spending so much time with Pablo and the others. She would write sentences in Spanish on pieces of paper and then would write a direct translation to English under it. As her Spanish got better she found she was even able to begin explaining the differences to the Bandidos.
Zoey and Will had been with the Bandidos for what must have been months. Every day they taught them a new English lesson. They did miss home and would pray nightly for their homesickness to go away. But they also had a strong sense that God was using this experience for his glory. After the several months that they had been there, the Bandidos had a basic understanding of the English language and were able to converse with Zoey and Will somewhat smoothly.
Pablo asked them one day, “When you do this,” he made the motions that Zoey and Will made when they were praying, “What is it?”
“That’s praying,” Zoey answered him, “Orar.”
“Why do you… praying?” Pablo asked him.
The door had been opened. Zoey and Will had been praying that God would give them an opportunity to share the gospel with Pablo and the others and it was finally here. Zoey and Will began teaching the Bandidos new English words like “sin” or “Jesus” or “God” or “Heaven.” They explained the gospel story and told Pablo and the others about the gift of salvation that Jesus offered when he died on the cross. They explained that even though sin made hearts dirty, Jesus death on the cross could clean them so that we could spend eternity in Heaven. And Jesus loved everyone, even the Bandidos, so much that he wanted to save them too.
Pablo seemed conflicted after having the gospel story explained to him. He pointed to his heart and shook his head saying, “Much sin.”
Zoey just shook her head. She was reminded of the story of Paul and was almost moved to tears when she realized that Paul translated into Pablo in Spanish. Zoey told Pablo the story of how Saul the murderer had been changed into Paul that showed many people God’s love. Pablo was moved to tears at the story and said, “On the first day we met, I was going to kill you all. You speak to me in Spanish. You speak my name, I didn’t understand how you know my name. But you say, ‘Pablo! Pablo! Please stop! Jesus loves you too!’ I never know who Jesus is. But that sentence made me want to change my life. I only keep you away from group to understand how you know my name. And I think that if I learned English I could get better job and change life. But now I understand who Jesus is too. Can he clean my heart?”
“Yes!” Zoey and Will had the opportunity then to lead the men that had once been their captors in the salvation prayer. It was obvious that the men had been changed when they opened their eyes and new life could be seen in them.
“Jesus loves me,” Pablo said, “My heart is clean. No more sin.” The men that had been their captors were now their friends and they all celebrated together. Zoey was overwhelmed by the ways God had used her in the lives of these Mexican criminals to transform them into children of God. Being captured had been the scariest and hardest thing that had ever happened to her at first. But she was so glad that God had used it for his glory now.
The Bandidos, who no longer called themselves that, had set the rest of the group free several months ago. Zoey and Will had been with them for almost six months. They no longer lived as prisoners to the group of men but as friends.
They were surprised when there was a knock on the door one day. Pablo answered the door and the police stepped in. The rest of the group had reported Zoey and Will missing and had tried to explain where the Bandidos hideout was. Apparently the police had finally found them. They saw Zoey and Will there and immediately began arresting Pablo and the other men. The men didn’t fight but Zoey tried to convince them to stop. She did not want to see these new children of God get arrested and go to jail.
But Pablo silenced her. “I have done crimes and disobeyed laws. I must go to jail now. But my Jesus will go with me. Maybe I will be like Paul and tell other criminals about the love of Jesus too.”
Pablo and the others went to prison and stayed there for the rest of their lives. Zoey and Will returned to their family in the States and had an overwhelming reunion with their parents who had assumed their children to be dead.
Zoey and Will spent some time trying to get used to the culture of the United States once again. But God had changed their lives just as he had changed the lives of the Bandidos. Zoey finished her degree in English and then moved back to Mexico as a missionary. She remembered Pablo’s reason for wanting to learn English. She founded her own school there so that she could teach Mexicans how to speak English so that they might have a chance at a better life. She started a program that taught English to criminals that were done serving their time or youth that were at risk. She provided them with a valuable language and then helped them find jobs in the city to keep them away from a life of crime. She visited Pablo and the other’s frequently and made sure that they had their own copy of the Bible to read in prison.
Pablo also led a ministry in prison. He witnessed to anyone who listened. He preached from his cell and led many to Christ. Even though he spent the rest of his life in prison, he was convinced there was no better place to tell people about a Savior who still loved them even though they had sinned.
What had started off as a mission trip that Zoey had been forced to go on had turned into a beautiful life-changing story that changed her life forever.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

A Thanksgiving Reflection

I love Thanksgiving. I love the idea of taking a day to put more emphasis on being thankful. We have so much to be thankful for, especially here in the States. It saddens my heart to see how people so often rush past Thanksgiving and make a day that's mostly about satisfying your flesh. First people gorge themselves on a plethora of food. And then they try to gorge themselves with more stuff by trampling other human beings in a line just to get a sale on a thing. It's so important to take time to be thankful for everything we have. But instead people turn Thanksgiving into a time of trying to get more stuff.

On the flip side, I think we as people have a bad habit of trying to sugar coat things on Thanksgiving. We name all the things we're thankful for that are easy to be thankful for. "I'm thankful for my house and my education and a free country..." and so on. We try to ignore all of the bad parts of our lives on Thanksgiving so we can highlight and be thankful for all the good stuff. But when was the last time we thanked God for the bad stuff too? True thankfulness is not just praising God for the good stuff, but for the struggles and hard things to be thankful for too.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

We are called not just to be thankful for the easy things the thank God for. We are called to thank God for the hard things too. When we're living in God's will, trusting that he turns even trials into blessings, then we can give thanks in all circumstances and thank him for the hard things too.

I'm reminded of the old hymn "It Is Well" which says, "When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul." This song is a reminder that life is filled with both good and bad times. But with the God of the universe on our sides we are able to give thanks in all the hard times too because through peace he gives it can be well with our souls.

I'm thankful for my family even though they drive me crazy. I'm thankful for an education even though it costs a lot of money. I'm thankful for my car even though it has some problems. I'm thankful for the finances I do have even though it isn't much. I'm thankful for the hard times I go through because I know God uses them to make me stronger and more mature and closer to him.

So this Thanksgiving, my challenge to you is stop sugarcoating. Stop focusing on only the good stuff and thank God for some of the tough things too. He is able to turn the hard stuff into even bigger blessings than he good stuff. This Thanksgiving, dare to be thankful in all circumstances.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Spirit, The Seed, And Me



Last night I volunteered with the Word of Life Superbowl in Binghamton and the COOLEST thing happened! While I was sitting at the Davis table, helping admissions out with recruiting, a girl came up to the table. She was unsure of my name at first but she recognized me. It turns out that she had been one of the girls that I had counseled last year after they had both made first time decisions for salvation. She told me that both she and her friend were back this year and they had brought four more friends back with them. Those friends made the decision to accept the Lord tonight.
It was so cool! Partly it was cool simply because those girls didn’t make a decision that night on an emotional high just to fall away from it later. It is always encouraging, especially as someone who has done salvation counseling with many different people, to see that they really meant it. But more than anything, it was cool because I remember counseling them. And I remember feeling like I had done a horrible job at it! I hadn’t reviewed the gospel with anyone in a while, I was missing points, I was distracted and all over the place! And they both had kind of given me deer in the headlights looks when I was done. So it was so amazing to find out tonight that even though I felt like I had done a terrible job, and maybe from formal training standpoint I did, I was still able to impact those girls so much that they remembered me a whole year later!
I don’t say that to brag on myself at all! I say that to brag on my God! It was such an awesome reminder to me that I am unable to do ministry on my own. Because if it hadn’t been for the Holy Spirit working through me, even in the disorganized rambling mess that I felt I had been, I never could have adequately counseled those girls. If the only tool I had was my rambling on about Jesus, those girls probably wouldn’t have come to Christ that night. They probably would have left and completely forgot about it. But because I had the Spirit of the Living God working through me as I counseled those girls, my words were able to minister and impact those girls in spite of my rustiness. The Bible says in Luke 12:11b-12, “Do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” What a testament to that promise this story truly is. Even when I lacked words, the Spirit still spoke through me in a mighty way.
Lastly, this encounter really impacted me because the girls came back with more friends! God used me to plant a seed in their lives. Not only did that seed grow, it started producing and planting more seeds! And that is such refreshing news for someone in ministry. Not only did God use me to plant seeds in just two girl’s lives, he used me to plant seeds in their lives so they could spread the same seed in the lives of their friends. And who knows how much further it will continue to spread. I may never know how far the seeds I have planted will reach, and I don’t need to know. It is just so refreshing to be reminded that a seed planted truly never is a waste. You never know how many more seeds will be planted because of just one.
I shared with those girls what a blessing they had been to me by sharing all of this. And God laid it on my heart to pray with them again. So I got to pray over the girls again before they left. They both gave me hugs and said, “See you next year!” I don’t know if I will actually see them next year or not, though I hope I do. But even if I don’t, God used them in my life on that one night to remind me that even when I feel like I have failed, the Spirit can still work through me to plant seeds that grow and then continue spreading. I am so glad that God used an encounter as cool as this to teach and remind me of these important ministry truths.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Nothing I Hold Onto

We held Ruah, a worship and prayer night for the students here at school, tonight. It was a powerful time and God really moved in the hearts of many that came. He especially moved in my heart! And it was so awesome to see how God spoke through me but also to me in the same message. It was powerful to see how he used some of the stuff I had been struggling with this week and turned it into a means of encouraging others. I was truly blessed by just how simply good God really is.
 
I personally had been struggling through out the week and semester to live for God wholeheartedly. It is so easy to let other people, or things, sins, or addictions get in the way of having a deeper walk with God. So as I have been seeking out this deeper walk with God, desiring to gain a new level of intimacy with him, it is only natural that he is making me more aware of the things that I have put before him in my life. I needed this message tonight as much as anyone else there did!
 
I delivered this brief message before the people spent some time in group prayer. I wanted to share it with you too! At the bottom there is also a video version of the message if you would rather watch that. I hope you are blessed by this too!

*         *          *         *         *
 
Who are you worshiping? What consumes you? I think we'd all like to say that God does, but is that really the truth? God is pursuing you and he wants to be near to you. He loves you and wants to have a close relationship with you. But we get so distracted by the things of this world that don't enter into a closer relationship with him. So instead we have half-hearted relationships with God. We invite him into our lives, but we invite the things of the world in too. We let worldly things take the place of a Holy God. 
 
And then we get addicted, and instead of trying to draw close to God, we let these things, these idols take control. We all know what our idol is. It's different for each of us. For some people it's a person, for others a thing, for some a sin. But we all struggle with something.
 
But the Bible says in James 4:8 " Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world." Surrender yourself fully to God. God is right here in this room waiting for you to come back to him. He has been standing here with open arms and he desires for you to come back into them. He wants to be close to you. 
 
So tonight is the night to let go of that idol in your life, stop living half-heartedly for God and live a life of self-abandon, living wholeheartedly for God! Find people to pray with and spend some times praying over the idol in your life that is keeping you from having a closer walk with God. 
 
 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

A Date With God

I’m just blown away by how cool God is sometimes! Lately God has really been speaking to my heart about intimacy and closeness with him. I even made the semester theme for the small group that I lead. He has been showing me that there is so much more of himself that he has to give me.  There is so much closer to him that I can become. My heart’s cry these past few weeks is that God would make himself so real to me that I sense his presence all the time and never feel alone because I know that he is with me. My goal for this semester is to become more aware of God’s presence. I want to develop a deeper and more intimate relationship with God. So this theme of intimacy and closeness with God has been heavy on my mind and heart.

This will seem irrelevant, but bear with me. I had a little extra time to get ready yesterday. I had done my hair nicely, I was wearing nicer clothes, and was wearing more make-up than usual. I had several of my girls teasingly ask me where I was going, assuming I was going out with someone. They kept saying that I was going on a date. All day yesterday, they kept saying, “Lindsey’s going on a date!” I just laughed at them. The only plans I had for the night was to go to a church service with some friends.

So I went to the service last night and after the service is over, the people typically go to the front and just start praying over each other. God used me to prophesy over some of my friends that I went with, and that was really cool. But then people started praying and prophesying over me. It quickly became very clear that God wanted to speak to me about closeness and intimacy with him as well. I hadn’t really told anyone there how God had been speaking to me about that before. But people began prophesying over me saying things like, “Lindsey, God is going to use your quiet times in the small gray rooms and use it to give you life and paint your community of grey with all sorts of colors. And that’s all going to spring from the quiet times when you’re growing closer to God. God is going to be closer than your skin.” Or another one prayed, “Lindsey, I see your passion for God and for serving him. God just give her more of you. Bring her closer to you.” Another prayed that I would be close to God and talked about, “Taking God out for a slice of pizza” or taking time to “sit at the feet of Jesus.” And still another prophesied that, “God want(ed) to take me on a metaphorical date” and be close to me. People probably prayed over me for a solid ten or fifteen minutes and the theme of everyone’s prayers was intimacy and closeness with God.

Turns out I was going on a date, a date with my savior and king and close friend, my God. It was so cool how God tied everything together last night. And it confirmed that God really does want to bring me so much closer to him! I cannot wait to see what God does with the semester as I strive to be closer to him. I can’t wait to see what blooms out of a close and intimate relationship with God. I’m so excited to see what awesome and radical and amazing things God does! I’m sure it’s more than I can even imagine right now! But I can’t wait for that time to come so I can experience it! I can’t wait to be so close to God that it is like having another person in the room all the time.


“I don’t wanna talk about you, like you’re not in the room. I wanna look right at you, I wanna sing right to you.” –You Won’t Relent, Jesus Culture

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Big Things For Summer 2013

I truly sought out God’s will for the summer, I would have much rather worked in ministry. But when I asked God what to do this summer, he kept pushing me toward going home. “Your hometown is your mission field this summer. I need you to be there.” In all reality, I really hate my job at the amusement park. It’s hot, it’s tedious, it’s long hours, the people (both co-workers and customers) can be hard to deal with, there’s a lot of rules and policies I don’t like, and it’s messy! But it’s where God wants me. I’ve realized that my heart attitude is going to make or break this summer.

So I’m trying to find the joy in things instead of complaining about things. I am employed. I work a full time job. I’ve been placed among non-Christians that I can be an example to. I have been financially blessed. I am able to provide for myself. I come in contact with hundreds, thousands even, of people a week that I can serve and help create memories for and I get paid for it. In reality, a job at the amusement park is a great place to learn humility and develop a servant’s heart.

I’ve been going about this summer, at work and other places, looking for opportunities to improve my attitude and be joyful in spite of the circumstances. It’s definitely not always easy, most times I’d rather complain. But my prayer is that the pure joy that can come only from God will overwhelm my spirit and I won’t be able to keep from shining and smiling for him.

God called me to the mission field of home this summer. So there’s no reason I shouldn’t approach being home, or anywhere else for that matter, with the same attitude, dedication, and zeal that I went about with Costa Rica last summer.

I’m excited to see what sort of big things God does with me in the summer of 2013.

James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Daughter of the King

Yesterday was the last day that Doug Stanton was in town. We started in the morning with a session. He does a week long School of the Spirit and he did a little bit of that Saturday morning. He talked a lot about new self versus old self which was awesome because God had been speaking to me so much on that lately. 

Doug has really inspired me to step out more in my faith. God has just recently opened my eyes to the things of the spirit, but Doug has helped me to realize that there's so much more that even I could be walking in. I want to prophesy over people and see people healed because of God working through me. So that was really on my heart going into the meetings yesterday.

We had one last revival meeting at night, and man! It was good! The worship was powerful, more so than it had been the other nights. The spirit was moving through the place and resting heavily in the sanctuary. 

Doug went on with his message as usual. But afterwards, he started healing and praying for people. He just kept going and going, people kept coming to him asking him for prayer. He prayed for people with back problems or heart issues and other problems as well. I watched him heal a little boy of asthma. It was awesome. The presence of God through the Holy Spirit was so present in that place. When Doug would pray for people, the Spirit would come upon them and people were going down all over the place.

Then Doug prayed over a friend of mine that wanted to be baptized in the spirit. Doug prayed over him and then my friend went down too. My spirit could feel the anointing of God spilling onto him. It was awesome. When my friend got up, Doug took him around to other people and had him pray over others. When my friend went and prayed for other people, the spirit came on them too and they went down as well.

To top the night off, Doug came over to me again. "The anointing is all over this one," he said to me. He laid hands on me and then he began to prophesy over me. He talked about how I was a daughter of the king and my belonging in his Kingdom. He also talked about the power of God that I would take on and begin to move in. Doug prophesied over me that I would begin to do the things that God had called me to do that only I could do. I think he mentioned something about me beginning to step out and experiencing the power of God in new ways I hadn't before as well. 

When he had finished prophesying over me, I felt the power of the spirit come into and I fell backwards for the second time that week. As I laid on the ground, I reflected on the word Doug had just given me. I felt a sort of heavy peace upon me. I just rested in the Spirit and soaked up the presence of God for a while. 

I was so blessed by these past five meetings with Doug Stanton. God used it to bring forth a revival in me. It was a great opening to the summer of 2013.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Freedom

Dough Stanton, a revivalist, has been doing a four day series of preaching and ministry at a local church. Tonight was the second night of it. 

Prior to tonight, I had really been struggling with what it meant to be a "new creation." My old creation comes out a lot, and I am often haunted by memories of behaviors of my old creation. I had really been struggling with this in the sense of addictions as well. I had been struggling with a couple different types of addictions that was also a part of my old creation and not the new. It doesn't matter what the addictions were, it only matters that they were taking away from my relationship with God.

During worship tonight I was talking to God about this. And he was reminding me that I am a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come. I was overwhelmed with his love for me and the way he has forgiven me. I realized that I am his, but I am not God's only because this is something I've chosen to do. I am God's because he has chosen me in spite of me! Wow! In spite of all my dirt and sin, God still wanted me! He still loved me enough to pick me and use me for his glory. How good it is to serve a God that redeems. Throughout the rest of the night, God continued to remind me that he loves me and I am forgiven and have the righteousness of God because of Jesus' death on the cross.

At the end of the night, Doug called everyone to the front of the church to be prayed over. He saw me in the crowd, and the Spirit must have shown him that I needed prayer, because I didn't even have to ask for prayer, Doug just laid hands on me and began to pray for me. I don't remember what all he said, but I felt the power of the Holy Spirit come into me and started to feel faint and I fell backwards into the hands of other church members. "Freedom!" I heard a man saying as I went down.

As I was lying on the ground, I used my time to try and shut out what was going on around me and just let God talk to me. "Freedom." The word kept bouncing around in my mind. "Meet me in this place," I said to God. And sure enough, he began speaking to heart. 

God spoke something like these words to me, "When you are tempted, reach out for my voice and my love instead. Hear my voice calling out to you instead of your own. I love you. I see what you've done and it's already been forgiven. I'm going to get you through this. I am going to get you out of this, because I love you." 

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Immeasurably More

God seems to have different themes, or lessons, per semester or year that he’s been teaching me here at college. Last fall semester the theme was balance. Last spring the theme was forgiveness. And this year, my second (and now completed) year of college, the theme was provision. That theme is better summed up in Ephesians 3:20, “God is able to immeasurably more than we could ever think or imagine.”
God started this school year off by sending me to Costa Rica in the summer. I didn’t know where I was going to get the money for the next fall, but I stepped out in faith and followed God because I knew that was his will. God rewarded my obedience in amazing ways! He literally blew me away! I got a scholarship that basically pays for half of school and I have other scholarships that covered a majority of the cost. That was a huge blessing, I knew God would provide, I didn’t realize he’d provide so much.
Then God put my faith to the test in the spring. I had run quite low on money and, due to some circumstances, school was going to be a bit of a stretch to pay for. I didn’t know where the money was going to come from. I had applied multiple places and hadn’t managed to get a job anywhere. I was beginning to try and figure out how to make $20 last a whole semester.
That’s when I got an e-mail from the local Child Evangelism Fellowship office here in town. They were in need of someone to work part time with them doing both office work and teaching kids in some after school clubs. I applied and got the job. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough to get me through the semester and pay school off. I never heard from any of the places I applied to, who knows if I ever would have found an outside job. This job was given to me with first priority because I had worked with CEF before.
I was blown away by God’s goodness. That’s when I realized that God was preparing to provide for me now ever since I first started working with CEF, five years ago. I was so hesitant to work with CEF, I was scared out of my mind! But I did it because I knew it was God’s will for my life. And little did I know then, that God was going to use CEF to provide for me now. 
Aside from financial provision, God has done more than I ever imagined in spiritual ways too. I have grown so much this year! God has revealed himself to me in brand new ways.  He has showed me the way he moves and works in ways that I never thought even existed anymore!
God has done immeasurably more than I ever thought or imagined in my life this year.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Friends of Old: The Story of Buttercup


Friends of Old 
February 21, 2013
I remember when I first met him,
Honestly he was not my first pick.
But my parents insisted on the quiet one,
After all, the other one was too sick.

He had big brown eyes and crimpy ears,
And a yellow coat like a buttercup.
So little me, ignoring Daddy’s interfere,
Got to name my new friend, our new pup.

Upon arriving at our home,
On the floor, of course, he decided to pee.
Once outside, desiring to roam,
Leash in hand, across the grass he dragged me.

I learned to keep the door shut,
Else through the neighborhood he’d fly.
He’d always enjoy the moment, but
He would always stay nearby.

We made it through his puppy years,
Many our belongings know them well.
Because of his teeth, I would be in tears,
To my doll’s hand, he had given hell.

Many times I played with him,
Oh how I loved to watch him run.
In the lake, we’d make him swim.
I remember it was so much fun.

But I always knew he loved me,
A more tolerant dog there was not.
Though I’d pester him and giggle with glee,
Revenge he never ever sought.

His love for us was made clear,
By the wolf dog, my brother was chased,
I giggled, despite my brother’s fear.
But to the rescue, our dog bravely raced.

To my family he was a dear friend,
A great playmate to my brother and me,
A source of laughter to us till the end,
We loved him so, and all could see.

As time passed, we became friends of old.
All my life stages, he had seen.
Fifteen seasons of warmth and seasons of cold.
He was there for good, and bad, and all in between.

As the years went by we all knew,
The clock was ticking and time would fly.
The remaining moments with him were few,
And soon we would have to say goodbye.

And though we all knew that you would,
Your life we would still deeply grieve.
I know you hung on as long as you could.
Alas even great souls have to leave.

But it’s okay, my good old friend,
You were wonderful to us while here.
Thank you for being you till the end,
You can go now, for us, do not fear.

Oh, you quiet, crimpy eared, yellow pup,
I couldn’t have asked for a better dog than you.
And so my sweet dear friend, Buttercup,
I sadly but lovingly, bid you adieu.