Nothing I Hold Onto

We held Ruah, a worship and prayer night for the students here at school, tonight. It was a powerful time and God really moved in the hearts of many that came. He especially moved in my heart! And it was so awesome to see how God spoke through me but also to me in the same message. It was powerful to see how he used some of the stuff I had been struggling with this week and turned it into a means of encouraging others. I was truly blessed by just how simply good God really is.

 

I personally had been struggling through out the week and semester to live for God wholeheartedly. It is so easy to let other people, or things, sins, or addictions get in the way of having a deeper walk with God. So as I have been seeking out this deeper walk with God, desiring to gain a new level of intimacy with him, it is only natural that he is making me more aware of the things that I have put before him in my life. I needed this message tonight as much as anyone else there did!

 

I delivered this brief message before the people spent some time in group prayer. I wanted to share it with you too! At the bottom there is also a video version of the message if you would rather watch that. I hope you are blessed by this too!

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Who are you worshiping? What consumes you? I think we'd all like to say that God does, but is that really the truth? God is pursuing you and he wants to be near to you. He loves you and wants to have a close relationship with you. But we get so distracted by the things of this world that don't enter into a closer relationship with him. So instead we have half-hearted relationships with God. We invite him into our lives, but we invite the things of the world in too. We let worldly things take the place of a Holy God. 

 

And then we get addicted, and instead of trying to draw close to God, we let these things, these idols take control. We all know what our idol is. It's different for each of us. For some people it's a person, for others a thing, for some a sin. But we all struggle with something.

 

But the Bible says in James 4:8 " Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world." Surrender yourself fully to God. God is right here in this room waiting for you to come back to him. He has been standing here with open arms and he desires for you to come back into them. He wants to be close to you. 

 

So tonight is the night to let go of that idol in your life, stop living half-heartedly for God and live a life of self-abandon, living wholeheartedly for God! Find people to pray with and spend some times praying over the idol in your life that is keeping you from having a closer walk with God. 

 

 

A Date With God

I’m just blown away by how cool God is sometimes! Lately God has really been speaking to my heart about intimacy and closeness with him. I even made the semester theme for the small group that I lead. He has been showing me that there is so much more of himself that he has to give me.  There is so much closer to him that I can become. My heart’s cry these past few weeks is that God would make himself so real to me that I sense his presence all the time and never feel alone because I know that he is with me. My goal for this semester is to become more aware of God’s presence. I want to develop a deeper and more intimate relationship with God. So this theme of intimacy and closeness with God has been heavy on my mind and heart.

This will seem irrelevant, but bear with me. I had a little extra time to get ready yesterday. I had done my hair nicely, I was wearing nicer clothes, and was wearing more make-up than usual. I had several of my girls teasingly ask me where I was going, assuming I was going out with someone. They kept saying that I was going on a date. All day yesterday, they kept saying, “Lindsey’s going on a date!” I just laughed at them. The only plans I had for the night was to go to a church service with some friends.

So I went to the service last night and after the service is over, the people typically go to the front and just start praying over each other. God used me to prophesy over some of my friends that I went with, and that was really cool. But then people started praying and prophesying over me. It quickly became very clear that God wanted to speak to me about closeness and intimacy with him as well. I hadn’t really told anyone there how God had been speaking to me about that before. But people began prophesying over me saying things like, “Lindsey, God is going to use your quiet times in the small gray rooms and use it to give you life and paint your community of grey with all sorts of colors. And that’s all going to spring from the quiet times when you’re growing closer to God. God is going to be closer than your skin.” Or another one prayed, “Lindsey, I see your passion for God and for serving him. God just give her more of you. Bring her closer to you.” Another prayed that I would be close to God and talked about, “Taking God out for a slice of pizza” or taking time to “sit at the feet of Jesus.” And still another prophesied that, “God want(ed) to take me on a metaphorical date” and be close to me. People probably prayed over me for a solid ten or fifteen minutes and the theme of everyone’s prayers was intimacy and closeness with God.

Turns out I was going on a date, a date with my savior and king and close friend, my God. It was so cool how God tied everything together last night. And it confirmed that God really does want to bring me so much closer to him! I cannot wait to see what God does with the semester as I strive to be closer to him. I can’t wait to see what blooms out of a close and intimate relationship with God. I’m so excited to see what awesome and radical and amazing things God does! I’m sure it’s more than I can even imagine right now! But I can’t wait for that time to come so I can experience it! I can’t wait to be so close to God that it is like having another person in the room all the time.

“I don’t wanna talk about you, like you’re not in the room. I wanna look right at you, I wanna sing right to you.” –You Won’t Relent, Jesus Culture

Big Things For Summer 2013

I truly sought out God’s will for the summer, I would have much rather worked in ministry. But when I asked God what to do this summer, he kept pushing me toward going home. “Your hometown is your mission field this summer. I need you to be there.” In all reality, I really hate my job at the amusement park. It’s hot, it’s tedious, it’s long hours, the people (both co-workers and customers) can be hard to deal with, there’s a lot of rules and policies I don’t like, and it’s messy! But it’s where God wants me. I’ve realized that my heart attitude is going to make or break this summer.

So I’m trying to find the joy in things instead of complaining about things. I am employed. I work a full time job. I’ve been placed among non-Christians that I can be an example to. I have been financially blessed. I am able to provide for myself. I come in contact with hundreds, thousands even, of people a week that I can serve and help create memories for and I get paid for it. In reality, a job at the amusement park is a great place to learn humility and develop a servant’s heart.

I’ve been going about this summer, at work and other places, looking for opportunities to improve my attitude and be joyful in spite of the circumstances. It’s definitely not always easy, most times I’d rather complain. But my prayer is that the pure joy that can come only from God will overwhelm my spirit and I won’t be able to keep from shining and smiling for him.

God called me to the mission field of home this summer. So there’s no reason I shouldn’t approach being home, or anywhere else for that matter, with the same attitude, dedication, and zeal that I went about with Costa Rica last summer.

I’m excited to see what sort of big things God does with me in the summer of 2013.

James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Daughter of the King

Yesterday was the last day that Doug Stanton was in town. We started in the morning with a session. He does a week long School of the Spirit and he did a little bit of that Saturday morning. He talked a lot about new self versus old self which was awesome because God had been speaking to me so much on that lately. 

Doug has really inspired me to step out more in my faith. God has just recently opened my eyes to the things of the spirit, but Doug has helped me to realize that there's so much more that even I could be walking in. I want to prophesy over people and see people healed because of God working through me. So that was really on my heart going into the meetings yesterday.

We had one last revival meeting at night, and man! It was good! The worship was powerful, more so than it had been the other nights. The spirit was moving through the place and resting heavily in the sanctuary. 

Doug went on with his message as usual. But afterwards, he started healing and praying for people. He just kept going and going, people kept coming to him asking him for prayer. He prayed for people with back problems or heart issues and other problems as well. I watched him heal a little boy of asthma. It was awesome. The presence of God through the Holy Spirit was so present in that place. When Doug would pray for people, the Spirit would come upon them and people were going down all over the place.

Then Doug prayed over a friend of mine that wanted to be baptized in the spirit. Doug prayed over him and then my friend went down too. My spirit could feel the anointing of God spilling onto him. It was awesome. When my friend got up, Doug took him around to other people and had him pray over others. When my friend went and prayed for other people, the spirit came on them too and they went down as well.

To top the night off, Doug came over to me again. "The anointing is all over this one," he said to me. He laid hands on me and then he began to prophesy over me. He talked about how I was a daughter of the king and my belonging in his Kingdom. He also talked about the power of God that I would take on and begin to move in. Doug prophesied over me that I would begin to do the things that God had called me to do that only I could do. I think he mentioned something about me beginning to step out and experiencing the power of God in new ways I hadn't before as well. 

When he had finished prophesying over me, I felt the power of the spirit come into and I fell backwards for the second time that week. As I laid on the ground, I reflected on the word Doug had just given me. I felt a sort of heavy peace upon me. I just rested in the Spirit and soaked up the presence of God for a while. 

I was so blessed by these past five meetings with Doug Stanton. God used it to bring forth a revival in me. It was a great opening to the summer of 2013.

Freedom

Dough Stanton, a revivalist, has been doing a four day series of preaching and ministry at a local church. Tonight was the second night of it. 

Prior to tonight, I had really been struggling with what it meant to be a "new creation." My old creation comes out a lot, and I am often haunted by memories of behaviors of my old creation. I had really been struggling with this in the sense of addictions as well. I had been struggling with a couple different types of addictions that was also a part of my old creation and not the new. It doesn't matter what the addictions were, it only matters that they were taking away from my relationship with God.

During worship tonight I was talking to God about this. And he was reminding me that I am a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come. I was overwhelmed with his love for me and the way he has forgiven me. I realized that I am his, but I am not God's only because this is something I've chosen to do. I am God's because he has chosen me in spite of me! Wow! In spite of all my dirt and sin, God still wanted me! He still loved me enough to pick me and use me for his glory. How good it is to serve a God that redeems. Throughout the rest of the night, God continued to remind me that he loves me and I am forgiven and have the righteousness of God because of Jesus' death on the cross.

At the end of the night, Doug called everyone to the front of the church to be prayed over. He saw me in the crowd, and the Spirit must have shown him that I needed prayer, because I didn't even have to ask for prayer, Doug just laid hands on me and began to pray for me. I don't remember what all he said, but I felt the power of the Holy Spirit come into me and started to feel faint and I fell backwards into the hands of other church members. "Freedom!" I heard a man saying as I went down.

As I was lying on the ground, I used my time to try and shut out what was going on around me and just let God talk to me. "Freedom." The word kept bouncing around in my mind. "Meet me in this place," I said to God. And sure enough, he began speaking to heart. 

God spoke something like these words to me, "When you are tempted, reach out for my voice and my love instead. Hear my voice calling out to you instead of your own. I love you. I see what you've done and it's already been forgiven. I'm going to get you through this. I am going to get you out of this, because I love you." 

Immeasurably More

God seems to have different themes, or lessons, per semester or year that he’s been teaching me here at college. Last fall semester the theme was balance. Last spring the theme was forgiveness. And this year, my second (and now completed) year of college, the theme was provision. That theme is better summed up in Ephesians 3:20, “God is able to immeasurably more than we could ever think or imagine.”

God started this school year off by sending me to Costa Rica in the summer. I didn’t know where I was going to get the money for the next fall, but I stepped out in faith and followed God because I knew that was his will. God rewarded my obedience in amazing ways! He literally blew me away! I got a scholarship that basically pays for half of school and I have other scholarships that covered a majority of the cost. That was a huge blessing, I knew God would provide, I didn’t realize he’d provide so much.

Then God put my faith to the test in the spring. I had run quite low on money and, due to some circumstances, school was going to be a bit of a stretch to pay for. I didn’t know where the money was going to come from. I had applied multiple places and hadn’t managed to get a job anywhere. I was beginning to try and figure out how to make $20 last a whole semester.

That’s when I got an e-mail from the local Child Evangelism Fellowship office here in town. They were in need of someone to work part time with them doing both office work and teaching kids in some after school clubs. I applied and got the job. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough to get me through the semester and pay school off. I never heard from any of the places I applied to, who knows if I ever would have found an outside job. This job was given to me with first priority because I had worked with CEF before.

I was blown away by God’s goodness. That’s when I realized that God was preparing to provide for me now ever since I first started working with CEF, five years ago. I was so hesitant to work with CEF, I was scared out of my mind! But I did it because I knew it was God’s will for my life. And little did I know then, that God was going to use CEF to provide for me now. 

Aside from financial provision, God has done more than I ever imagined in spiritual ways too. I have grown so much this year! God has revealed himself to me in brand new ways.  He has showed me the way he moves and works in ways that I never thought even existed anymore!

God has done immeasurably more than I ever thought or imagined in my life this year.

Friends of Old: The Story of Buttercup

Friends of Old 

February 21, 2013

I remember when I first met him,

Honestly he was not my first pick.

But my parents insisted on the quiet one,

After all, the other one was too sick.

He had big brown eyes and crimpy ears,

And a yellow coat like a buttercup.

So little me, ignoring Daddy’s interfere,

Got to name my new friend, our new pup.

Upon arriving at our home,

On the floor, of course, he decided to pee.

Once outside, desiring to roam,

Leash in hand, across the grass he dragged me.

I learned to keep the door shut,

Else through the neighborhood he’d fly.

He’d always enjoy the moment, but

He would always stay nearby.

We made it through his puppy years,

Many our belongings know them well.

Because of his teeth, I would be in tears,

To my doll’s hand, he had given hell.

Many times I played with him,

Oh how I loved to watch him run.

In the lake, we’d make him swim.

I remember it was so much fun.

But I always knew he loved me,

A more tolerant dog there was not.

Though I’d pester him and giggle with glee,

Revenge he never ever sought.

His love for us was made clear,

By the wolf dog, my brother was chased,

I giggled, despite my brother’s fear.

But to the rescue, our dog bravely raced.

To my family he was a dear friend,

A great playmate to my brother and me,

A source of laughter to us till the end,

We loved him so, and all could see.

As time passed, we became friends of old.

All my life stages, he had seen.

Fifteen seasons of warmth and seasons of cold.

He was there for good, and bad, and all in between.

As the years went by we all knew,

The clock was ticking and time would fly.

The remaining moments with him were few,

And soon we would have to say goodbye.

And though we all knew that you would,

Your life we would still deeply grieve.

I know you hung on as long as you could.

Alas even great souls have to leave.

But it’s okay, my good old friend,

You were wonderful to us while here.

Thank you for being you till the end,

You can go now, for us, do not fear.

Oh, you quiet, crimpy eared, yellow pup,

I couldn’t have asked for a better dog than you.

And so my sweet dear friend, Buttercup,

I sadly but lovingly, bid you adieu.