Daughter of the King

Yesterday was the last day that Doug Stanton was in town. We started in the morning with a session. He does a week long School of the Spirit and he did a little bit of that Saturday morning. He talked a lot about new self versus old self which was awesome because God had been speaking to me so much on that lately. 

Doug has really inspired me to step out more in my faith. God has just recently opened my eyes to the things of the spirit, but Doug has helped me to realize that there's so much more that even I could be walking in. I want to prophesy over people and see people healed because of God working through me. So that was really on my heart going into the meetings yesterday.

We had one last revival meeting at night, and man! It was good! The worship was powerful, more so than it had been the other nights. The spirit was moving through the place and resting heavily in the sanctuary. 

Doug went on with his message as usual. But afterwards, he started healing and praying for people. He just kept going and going, people kept coming to him asking him for prayer. He prayed for people with back problems or heart issues and other problems as well. I watched him heal a little boy of asthma. It was awesome. The presence of God through the Holy Spirit was so present in that place. When Doug would pray for people, the Spirit would come upon them and people were going down all over the place.

Then Doug prayed over a friend of mine that wanted to be baptized in the spirit. Doug prayed over him and then my friend went down too. My spirit could feel the anointing of God spilling onto him. It was awesome. When my friend got up, Doug took him around to other people and had him pray over others. When my friend went and prayed for other people, the spirit came on them too and they went down as well.

To top the night off, Doug came over to me again. "The anointing is all over this one," he said to me. He laid hands on me and then he began to prophesy over me. He talked about how I was a daughter of the king and my belonging in his Kingdom. He also talked about the power of God that I would take on and begin to move in. Doug prophesied over me that I would begin to do the things that God had called me to do that only I could do. I think he mentioned something about me beginning to step out and experiencing the power of God in new ways I hadn't before as well. 

When he had finished prophesying over me, I felt the power of the spirit come into and I fell backwards for the second time that week. As I laid on the ground, I reflected on the word Doug had just given me. I felt a sort of heavy peace upon me. I just rested in the Spirit and soaked up the presence of God for a while. 

I was so blessed by these past five meetings with Doug Stanton. God used it to bring forth a revival in me. It was a great opening to the summer of 2013.

Freedom

Dough Stanton, a revivalist, has been doing a four day series of preaching and ministry at a local church. Tonight was the second night of it. 

Prior to tonight, I had really been struggling with what it meant to be a "new creation." My old creation comes out a lot, and I am often haunted by memories of behaviors of my old creation. I had really been struggling with this in the sense of addictions as well. I had been struggling with a couple different types of addictions that was also a part of my old creation and not the new. It doesn't matter what the addictions were, it only matters that they were taking away from my relationship with God.

During worship tonight I was talking to God about this. And he was reminding me that I am a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come. I was overwhelmed with his love for me and the way he has forgiven me. I realized that I am his, but I am not God's only because this is something I've chosen to do. I am God's because he has chosen me in spite of me! Wow! In spite of all my dirt and sin, God still wanted me! He still loved me enough to pick me and use me for his glory. How good it is to serve a God that redeems. Throughout the rest of the night, God continued to remind me that he loves me and I am forgiven and have the righteousness of God because of Jesus' death on the cross.

At the end of the night, Doug called everyone to the front of the church to be prayed over. He saw me in the crowd, and the Spirit must have shown him that I needed prayer, because I didn't even have to ask for prayer, Doug just laid hands on me and began to pray for me. I don't remember what all he said, but I felt the power of the Holy Spirit come into me and started to feel faint and I fell backwards into the hands of other church members. "Freedom!" I heard a man saying as I went down.

As I was lying on the ground, I used my time to try and shut out what was going on around me and just let God talk to me. "Freedom." The word kept bouncing around in my mind. "Meet me in this place," I said to God. And sure enough, he began speaking to heart. 

God spoke something like these words to me, "When you are tempted, reach out for my voice and my love instead. Hear my voice calling out to you instead of your own. I love you. I see what you've done and it's already been forgiven. I'm going to get you through this. I am going to get you out of this, because I love you." 

Immeasurably More

God seems to have different themes, or lessons, per semester or year that he’s been teaching me here at college. Last fall semester the theme was balance. Last spring the theme was forgiveness. And this year, my second (and now completed) year of college, the theme was provision. That theme is better summed up in Ephesians 3:20, “God is able to immeasurably more than we could ever think or imagine.”

God started this school year off by sending me to Costa Rica in the summer. I didn’t know where I was going to get the money for the next fall, but I stepped out in faith and followed God because I knew that was his will. God rewarded my obedience in amazing ways! He literally blew me away! I got a scholarship that basically pays for half of school and I have other scholarships that covered a majority of the cost. That was a huge blessing, I knew God would provide, I didn’t realize he’d provide so much.

Then God put my faith to the test in the spring. I had run quite low on money and, due to some circumstances, school was going to be a bit of a stretch to pay for. I didn’t know where the money was going to come from. I had applied multiple places and hadn’t managed to get a job anywhere. I was beginning to try and figure out how to make $20 last a whole semester.

That’s when I got an e-mail from the local Child Evangelism Fellowship office here in town. They were in need of someone to work part time with them doing both office work and teaching kids in some after school clubs. I applied and got the job. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough to get me through the semester and pay school off. I never heard from any of the places I applied to, who knows if I ever would have found an outside job. This job was given to me with first priority because I had worked with CEF before.

I was blown away by God’s goodness. That’s when I realized that God was preparing to provide for me now ever since I first started working with CEF, five years ago. I was so hesitant to work with CEF, I was scared out of my mind! But I did it because I knew it was God’s will for my life. And little did I know then, that God was going to use CEF to provide for me now. 

Aside from financial provision, God has done more than I ever imagined in spiritual ways too. I have grown so much this year! God has revealed himself to me in brand new ways.  He has showed me the way he moves and works in ways that I never thought even existed anymore!

God has done immeasurably more than I ever thought or imagined in my life this year.

Friends of Old: The Story of Buttercup

Friends of Old 

February 21, 2013

I remember when I first met him,

Honestly he was not my first pick.

But my parents insisted on the quiet one,

After all, the other one was too sick.

He had big brown eyes and crimpy ears,

And a yellow coat like a buttercup.

So little me, ignoring Daddy’s interfere,

Got to name my new friend, our new pup.

Upon arriving at our home,

On the floor, of course, he decided to pee.

Once outside, desiring to roam,

Leash in hand, across the grass he dragged me.

I learned to keep the door shut,

Else through the neighborhood he’d fly.

He’d always enjoy the moment, but

He would always stay nearby.

We made it through his puppy years,

Many our belongings know them well.

Because of his teeth, I would be in tears,

To my doll’s hand, he had given hell.

Many times I played with him,

Oh how I loved to watch him run.

In the lake, we’d make him swim.

I remember it was so much fun.

But I always knew he loved me,

A more tolerant dog there was not.

Though I’d pester him and giggle with glee,

Revenge he never ever sought.

His love for us was made clear,

By the wolf dog, my brother was chased,

I giggled, despite my brother’s fear.

But to the rescue, our dog bravely raced.

To my family he was a dear friend,

A great playmate to my brother and me,

A source of laughter to us till the end,

We loved him so, and all could see.

As time passed, we became friends of old.

All my life stages, he had seen.

Fifteen seasons of warmth and seasons of cold.

He was there for good, and bad, and all in between.

As the years went by we all knew,

The clock was ticking and time would fly.

The remaining moments with him were few,

And soon we would have to say goodbye.

And though we all knew that you would,

Your life we would still deeply grieve.

I know you hung on as long as you could.

Alas even great souls have to leave.

But it’s okay, my good old friend,

You were wonderful to us while here.

Thank you for being you till the end,

You can go now, for us, do not fear.

Oh, you quiet, crimpy eared, yellow pup,

I couldn’t have asked for a better dog than you.

And so my sweet dear friend, Buttercup,

I sadly but lovingly, bid you adieu. 

Wholehearted Worship, Being "All In"

Wholehearted Worship, Being “All In”

            What are idols? What does it really mean to worship God? What does it mean to be in a committed love based relationship with God? These are all things I’ve been learning about this week. And it has been awesome to see how God has used one lesson and linked it right into the next. These are all things that are changing the way I view my relationship with God. So I wanted to share!

            What are idols? Earlier in the week I watched a video about idolatry. Idolatry is not just worshiping a little figurine made of wood or marble. Idolatry is worshipping anything other than God. I have been realizing how guilty I am of this since I started college. I’m pretty good at making idols out of pretty much everything… my computer, my friends, boys, self image, etc.! An idol is anything that is a distraction from God. I was sitting in my room one night this week when I felt the Spirit urging me to spend some time in worship and prayer. So I shut down the computer and set the phone aside for a while and just tried to listen to what God had to say. I ended up feeling led to check out some YouTube videos and God led me to a Jefferson Bethke video that dealt with this issue of idols. Counterfeit Gods Explanation

            That led to the answer of the question, what does it really mean to worship God? The videos I watched described worship in a way I’d never thought of before. They described worship as a way of living, a way of prioritizing your life. You worship anything you give priority to in your life. What’s on the throne of your life? What would you give up anything to have? What would hurt you if you lost it? That’s what you worship. We scoff at the Hebrews and their golden calf but the reality is that we have plenty of golden calves in our lives. I was worshiping a lot of other things. And the worst part is I have been worshiping them more than I worship God. I have been desiring creation over the Creator. But the creation can never give me satisfaction. And the creation didn’t die on a cross to save me from my sins. The creation doesn’t love me like Jesus does!

            And I realized the answer to the last question. What does it mean to have a committed love-based relationship with God? I realized that an important part of any relationship is that it requires you to do something on your part too. What was I doing to show God that I loved him? I’ll be honest, I was slacking big time on my end. Because it’s not just about his love for me, it’s also about my love for him. A relationship takes two persons giving effort, not just one. Worship is just the act of loving on something. So I need to start being more intentional about how I show love to God. I’m going to do this by setting aside times in my week to actually go on a date with God, go to Starbucks or something and bring my Bible and just talk to God and let him talk to me. That’s how I would show love to a person, so why not love on God that way too?

            I realized all of this just in time for my church’s weekend worship experience. We had a special worship night on Saturday and then had a message on worship on Sunday morning. Saturday night I lifted my heart up to God, declaring that I was his and wanted him to overwhelm my heart and get rid of the distractions that I knew were idols in my life. I didn’t want them anymore! I didn’t want anything else other than to be totally and completely satisfied with a love based relationship with him. I didn’t need any other thing or any other person, I just wanted to be surrendered totally and completely to Jesus. I didn’t want the creation I wanted the Creator. The next morning in church, my pastor made an analogy in his sermon about being “all in” for Jesus just as you would be in a poker game. Sometimes that takes a lot of risk but the risk is always rewarded when you’re going all in for Jesus. I made that decision to be all in, to have no more idols and to only worship my God.

            Sure enough shortly after church was over, God took away the distractions that I had in my life just as I had asked him to the night before. I spent some time in worship and prayer about it all afterwards and had peace about everything that I know only comes from God. I felt a sense of joy that God had answered my prayer to help me be closer to him. And I committed myself to him again, I gave myself to him and removed myself and the selfish desires I had from being a hindrance in my relationship with him. “God, I’m all in. I’m giving you my all. I worship you. I love you. I am committing myself completely to this relationship with you. I don’t want anything else anymore.”

            It amazes me to think back on this week. I learned so many different little lessons. I had no idea that they would all connect at the end, but God worked them all together for his glory. I will never understand his ways, but I love understanding the purpose behind everything when he finally brings it all together. It always blows my mind. He is so good to me. And he has not given up on me. He is working on my heart and teaching me daily. I am so thankful for this love based relationship I have with my Jesus.

Live Like You're Redeemed

This has been a hard semester to be single. There have been a lot of people that I know and have grown up with getting engaged and starting to think seriously about marriage. While I’m not really ready to get engaged or married, it does make it hard to be single and not be in a relationship. All of this has led to thoughts about whether or not I should be in a relationship again. I've been thinking a lot about dating and boys lately. All of these thoughts have reminded me of the standards I once held for myself.

About seven years ago I went to a BarlowGirl concert. The girls in that band take a stand for purity and waiting on God to reveal their husband instead of dating. I was inspired by that concert and felt God telling me that he wanted me to do the same thing. I felt God telling me not to date and to just spend time falling in love with him. God would let me know who the right guy was. I wanted my first boyfriend to be my husband. I also wanted to save my first kiss for my wedding day. I had some very high standards for myself and I wanted to hold to them. That was my covenant, my promise to God. I've written before about how I have completely failed at keeping those promises. I've compromised myself in a lot of other ways too. But in the end I realized that I was forgiven. I also realized that purity is not making it like the sin never happened. Purity is being clean and being given a second chance in spite of it happening. That’s what it means to be redeemed.

Because I have been redeemed I can have those same standards for myself as I did before. I was already planning on saving my “new first kiss” for my wedding day. But God kept sort of asking me, “Are you going to wait to date again too?” I didn’t answer him for a long time. I didn’t want to. I knew I was redeemed and had my purity back. I knew I could make that decision not to date until God revealed my husband to me. But I was scared to make the promise again. I was scared to make that promise to God again because I had messed up so badly before. I didn’t want to make the promise and then break it again.

I was thinking about boys a few nights ago when God said, “Lindsey, are you ready to get married any time soon? No? Then why are you so concerned with finding a boyfriend?” Well that was convicting. I had also been thinking a lot about how some people say, “I had to be okay with not getting married before God gave me a husband/wife.” I can’t help but feel that’s an unfair statement. I don’t think I’ll ever really be okay with not having a husband. It’s a desire rooted deep within my heart. That’s not wrong to have that desire. It is only wrong if I let that desire for a man get in the way of my relationship with God (which I am very guilty of doing). What I really need is just to be content with God and wait on him rather than constantly wanting to be in a temporary relationship.

The next night was prayer group. All of us ask for prayer for different things and on this particular night I decided it would be cool if we laid hands on each other and prayed for each other. I hadn’t told anyone about God convicting me about relationships or being content. And then my friend started praying for me, “I feel like I’m supposed to pray that Lindsey would be content.” And there was God again, tugging at my heart through a word of knowledge from my friend.

So today I spent some time just talking to God about all of this. I read Psalm 103 which reminded me of the great love of God. Mostly I just cried out to God and told him that I wanted his will for my life. And quietly, he reminded me that I am redeemed. I don’t have to be scared to make a promise to God because I failed in the past. I am redeemed. I can rise above my past and stay true to my word this time. I have been offered a second chance and I am deciding to take it. I realized that even though this was a hard decision to make, the end result would be so much better if I do things God’s way.

I smiled when I realized this because it reminded me of something I had just said to my dad the night before. I was texting him because he was nervous about going to Costa Rica for a week long mission trip. I had said to him in the text, “This is going to be a life changing experience. Life changing experiences are always scary and challenging at first but they are always worth it in the end.” As I was coming to this revelation with God today I realized that I could apply exactly what I had said to my dad to myself. Not dating and waiting on God to bring my husband is going to be really challenging for me. But the challenge will bring a change in me. I thought it was interesting that the word changing is in the word CHAlleNGING.

So I am renewing my covenant that I made so long ago. I am going to live as a redeemed individual and start over, taking the second chance that God has offered me. This is my covenant, my promise, to God.

I will save all of myself physically for my husband on my wedding day.

I will save my new first kiss for my husband on my wedding day.

I will not date unless God has told me that the man is going to be my husband.

I am very happy about all of this. I know it will be difficult at times but I am looking forward to the rewards God has in store for me. I can’t wait until God reveals this guy to me. I can’t wait until my wedding day when I get to have my new first kiss with the man that I have been waiting for. But I’m really looking forward to what God is going to teach me in the meantime. And I am so thankful that I serve a God who loves me enough to redeem me and give me a second chance.

Shortly after I made this decision and wrote it down on paper, the song “The Stand” by Hillsong United came on. The lyrics fit the situation perfectly. Especially the part that says, “So what can I say, What can I do, But offer this heart O God, Completely to You. So I'll stand, With arms high and heart abandoned, In awe of the One who gave it all. So I'll stand, My soul Lord to You surrendered. All I am is Yours.”

Prophecy

Tonight at church people were laying hands on me and praying over me. I was in prayer myself, listening for anything God might be saying to me. One of the people praying for me was praying that God would give me direction and that he would make his will very clear to me. Shortly after he prayed that, I started to get a mental picture of a tea bag in a small glass of water. At first I thought it was just a random thought but then God started speaking to my heart about it. He said “Dilute into the water that you are in now and someday I will give you an ocean.” I thought it was really cool and encouraging. God spoke to my heart about big things a while ago. That word that I received today was confirmation that he has big things in his will for my life.

It was also an encouraging night because God gave me some prophetic words for other people. I went to church and prayed, “Okay God, I’ve learned the gifts of tongues. Tonight I wanna flow in the gift of prophecy.” And in two instances when I was praying over friends God gave me a mental image that I believed meant something for that person. One time I pictured a tree and knew to pray, “I pray that you will be like a tree. You grew up from something small but now you provide shade and comfort for those around you.” It was really cool. I can’t wait to see what other gifts of the spirit God teaches me in the time to come!