Wholehearted Worship, Being "All In"

Wholehearted Worship, Being “All In”

            What are idols? What does it really mean to worship God? What does it mean to be in a committed love based relationship with God? These are all things I’ve been learning about this week. And it has been awesome to see how God has used one lesson and linked it right into the next. These are all things that are changing the way I view my relationship with God. So I wanted to share!

            What are idols? Earlier in the week I watched a video about idolatry. Idolatry is not just worshiping a little figurine made of wood or marble. Idolatry is worshipping anything other than God. I have been realizing how guilty I am of this since I started college. I’m pretty good at making idols out of pretty much everything… my computer, my friends, boys, self image, etc.! An idol is anything that is a distraction from God. I was sitting in my room one night this week when I felt the Spirit urging me to spend some time in worship and prayer. So I shut down the computer and set the phone aside for a while and just tried to listen to what God had to say. I ended up feeling led to check out some YouTube videos and God led me to a Jefferson Bethke video that dealt with this issue of idols. Counterfeit Gods Explanation

            That led to the answer of the question, what does it really mean to worship God? The videos I watched described worship in a way I’d never thought of before. They described worship as a way of living, a way of prioritizing your life. You worship anything you give priority to in your life. What’s on the throne of your life? What would you give up anything to have? What would hurt you if you lost it? That’s what you worship. We scoff at the Hebrews and their golden calf but the reality is that we have plenty of golden calves in our lives. I was worshiping a lot of other things. And the worst part is I have been worshiping them more than I worship God. I have been desiring creation over the Creator. But the creation can never give me satisfaction. And the creation didn’t die on a cross to save me from my sins. The creation doesn’t love me like Jesus does!

            And I realized the answer to the last question. What does it mean to have a committed love-based relationship with God? I realized that an important part of any relationship is that it requires you to do something on your part too. What was I doing to show God that I loved him? I’ll be honest, I was slacking big time on my end. Because it’s not just about his love for me, it’s also about my love for him. A relationship takes two persons giving effort, not just one. Worship is just the act of loving on something. So I need to start being more intentional about how I show love to God. I’m going to do this by setting aside times in my week to actually go on a date with God, go to Starbucks or something and bring my Bible and just talk to God and let him talk to me. That’s how I would show love to a person, so why not love on God that way too?

            I realized all of this just in time for my church’s weekend worship experience. We had a special worship night on Saturday and then had a message on worship on Sunday morning. Saturday night I lifted my heart up to God, declaring that I was his and wanted him to overwhelm my heart and get rid of the distractions that I knew were idols in my life. I didn’t want them anymore! I didn’t want anything else other than to be totally and completely satisfied with a love based relationship with him. I didn’t need any other thing or any other person, I just wanted to be surrendered totally and completely to Jesus. I didn’t want the creation I wanted the Creator. The next morning in church, my pastor made an analogy in his sermon about being “all in” for Jesus just as you would be in a poker game. Sometimes that takes a lot of risk but the risk is always rewarded when you’re going all in for Jesus. I made that decision to be all in, to have no more idols and to only worship my God.

            Sure enough shortly after church was over, God took away the distractions that I had in my life just as I had asked him to the night before. I spent some time in worship and prayer about it all afterwards and had peace about everything that I know only comes from God. I felt a sense of joy that God had answered my prayer to help me be closer to him. And I committed myself to him again, I gave myself to him and removed myself and the selfish desires I had from being a hindrance in my relationship with him. “God, I’m all in. I’m giving you my all. I worship you. I love you. I am committing myself completely to this relationship with you. I don’t want anything else anymore.”

            It amazes me to think back on this week. I learned so many different little lessons. I had no idea that they would all connect at the end, but God worked them all together for his glory. I will never understand his ways, but I love understanding the purpose behind everything when he finally brings it all together. It always blows my mind. He is so good to me. And he has not given up on me. He is working on my heart and teaching me daily. I am so thankful for this love based relationship I have with my Jesus.

Live Like You're Redeemed

This has been a hard semester to be single. There have been a lot of people that I know and have grown up with getting engaged and starting to think seriously about marriage. While I’m not really ready to get engaged or married, it does make it hard to be single and not be in a relationship. All of this has led to thoughts about whether or not I should be in a relationship again. I've been thinking a lot about dating and boys lately. All of these thoughts have reminded me of the standards I once held for myself.

About seven years ago I went to a BarlowGirl concert. The girls in that band take a stand for purity and waiting on God to reveal their husband instead of dating. I was inspired by that concert and felt God telling me that he wanted me to do the same thing. I felt God telling me not to date and to just spend time falling in love with him. God would let me know who the right guy was. I wanted my first boyfriend to be my husband. I also wanted to save my first kiss for my wedding day. I had some very high standards for myself and I wanted to hold to them. That was my covenant, my promise to God. I've written before about how I have completely failed at keeping those promises. I've compromised myself in a lot of other ways too. But in the end I realized that I was forgiven. I also realized that purity is not making it like the sin never happened. Purity is being clean and being given a second chance in spite of it happening. That’s what it means to be redeemed.

Because I have been redeemed I can have those same standards for myself as I did before. I was already planning on saving my “new first kiss” for my wedding day. But God kept sort of asking me, “Are you going to wait to date again too?” I didn’t answer him for a long time. I didn’t want to. I knew I was redeemed and had my purity back. I knew I could make that decision not to date until God revealed my husband to me. But I was scared to make the promise again. I was scared to make that promise to God again because I had messed up so badly before. I didn’t want to make the promise and then break it again.

I was thinking about boys a few nights ago when God said, “Lindsey, are you ready to get married any time soon? No? Then why are you so concerned with finding a boyfriend?” Well that was convicting. I had also been thinking a lot about how some people say, “I had to be okay with not getting married before God gave me a husband/wife.” I can’t help but feel that’s an unfair statement. I don’t think I’ll ever really be okay with not having a husband. It’s a desire rooted deep within my heart. That’s not wrong to have that desire. It is only wrong if I let that desire for a man get in the way of my relationship with God (which I am very guilty of doing). What I really need is just to be content with God and wait on him rather than constantly wanting to be in a temporary relationship.

The next night was prayer group. All of us ask for prayer for different things and on this particular night I decided it would be cool if we laid hands on each other and prayed for each other. I hadn’t told anyone about God convicting me about relationships or being content. And then my friend started praying for me, “I feel like I’m supposed to pray that Lindsey would be content.” And there was God again, tugging at my heart through a word of knowledge from my friend.

So today I spent some time just talking to God about all of this. I read Psalm 103 which reminded me of the great love of God. Mostly I just cried out to God and told him that I wanted his will for my life. And quietly, he reminded me that I am redeemed. I don’t have to be scared to make a promise to God because I failed in the past. I am redeemed. I can rise above my past and stay true to my word this time. I have been offered a second chance and I am deciding to take it. I realized that even though this was a hard decision to make, the end result would be so much better if I do things God’s way.

I smiled when I realized this because it reminded me of something I had just said to my dad the night before. I was texting him because he was nervous about going to Costa Rica for a week long mission trip. I had said to him in the text, “This is going to be a life changing experience. Life changing experiences are always scary and challenging at first but they are always worth it in the end.” As I was coming to this revelation with God today I realized that I could apply exactly what I had said to my dad to myself. Not dating and waiting on God to bring my husband is going to be really challenging for me. But the challenge will bring a change in me. I thought it was interesting that the word changing is in the word CHAlleNGING.

So I am renewing my covenant that I made so long ago. I am going to live as a redeemed individual and start over, taking the second chance that God has offered me. This is my covenant, my promise, to God.

I will save all of myself physically for my husband on my wedding day.

I will save my new first kiss for my husband on my wedding day.

I will not date unless God has told me that the man is going to be my husband.

I am very happy about all of this. I know it will be difficult at times but I am looking forward to the rewards God has in store for me. I can’t wait until God reveals this guy to me. I can’t wait until my wedding day when I get to have my new first kiss with the man that I have been waiting for. But I’m really looking forward to what God is going to teach me in the meantime. And I am so thankful that I serve a God who loves me enough to redeem me and give me a second chance.

Shortly after I made this decision and wrote it down on paper, the song “The Stand” by Hillsong United came on. The lyrics fit the situation perfectly. Especially the part that says, “So what can I say, What can I do, But offer this heart O God, Completely to You. So I'll stand, With arms high and heart abandoned, In awe of the One who gave it all. So I'll stand, My soul Lord to You surrendered. All I am is Yours.”

Prophecy

Tonight at church people were laying hands on me and praying over me. I was in prayer myself, listening for anything God might be saying to me. One of the people praying for me was praying that God would give me direction and that he would make his will very clear to me. Shortly after he prayed that, I started to get a mental picture of a tea bag in a small glass of water. At first I thought it was just a random thought but then God started speaking to my heart about it. He said “Dilute into the water that you are in now and someday I will give you an ocean.” I thought it was really cool and encouraging. God spoke to my heart about big things a while ago. That word that I received today was confirmation that he has big things in his will for my life.

It was also an encouraging night because God gave me some prophetic words for other people. I went to church and prayed, “Okay God, I’ve learned the gifts of tongues. Tonight I wanna flow in the gift of prophecy.” And in two instances when I was praying over friends God gave me a mental image that I believed meant something for that person. One time I pictured a tree and knew to pray, “I pray that you will be like a tree. You grew up from something small but now you provide shade and comfort for those around you.” It was really cool. I can’t wait to see what other gifts of the spirit God teaches me in the time to come!

Continued Revelation

October 7, 2012

Almost two months have passed since I left Costa Rica. It has been amazing to see how God has continued to work in my life and show me things since then. I returned to school hungry for more of God and desiring to experience him in new ways. I started trying out some extra worship night services in addition to searching for a new church. These worship services were more charismatic and a little more similar to the worship style that I experienced in Costa Rica.

            I went to these services seeking the Holy Spirit. I understood that the Holy Spirit was God’s way of doing his will on Earth through me. I understood that baptism of the Holy Spirit was biblical and something to be desired. I was ready to be filled and experience God in this new way. One night at one of the worship services, after the worship and the message had ended we were shifting into a time of ministering to each other. The pastor called out the crowd and asked if anyone wanted to be prayed over for baptism in the Holy Spirit. I was nervous, it had been my first time coming to this service and I was nervous to go up in front of everyone. So I just waited. But a Davis friend that I had gone to the service with asked me later on if I wanted to be prayed for. I agreed then.

The people laid hands on me and prayed in their prayer languages for me. I held out my hands, ready to receive the spirit. For some people, the gift of tongues is received at the time of baptism of the Holy Spirit. I was ready for that to happen but I wasn’t sure if it would. I was just focusing on God while people continued praying over me. I was standing in front of a pew but as people prayed I felt myself begin to go backwards. They helped me to sit down on the pew and I continued to soak up the presence of God while they continued to pray for me. But as much as I hoped it would, and as much as I was praying for it, I didn’t burst out speaking in tongues. However, while just the Davis students were praying for the school, I was trying to pray in tongues. A random phrase popped into my head then but I wasn’t sure if it was from God or if it was just me making it up. But I remembered that phrase. Later on, in some stressful situations in the month or so that followed I repeated that phrase in prayer. I wasn’t sure if it was tongues or not but I figured I should at least keep trying to pray in tongues. I was waiting on God to reveal the gift of tongues to me.

God had been convicting me that I wasn’t spending enough time with him. I was slacking off and doing a horrible job of being in the word. So I worked up a system to try to help myself to get in the Bible more. I had been faithfully reading my Bible daily for about a week. During this time, I started to have random spurts of gibberish. If I was letting out a sigh often times a little bit of gibberish would follow. Sometimes if I was really excited about something, I’d open my mouth and some gibberish would come out. I just assumed it was me being goofy. I didn’t think a whole lot of it. But on one occasion when I did it, my friend Kayla looked at me and laughed and asked, “Are you speaking in tongues over there?” And I wasn’t sure but at times I had wondered the same thing. What if that was speaking in tongues and I didn’t even realize it. As I began to think about it more, I had a heavy suspicion that tongues was manifesting itself and I just didn’t know what it was to be able to control it or use it when I wanted to.

When I realized this I began to try practicing quietly while sitting in my room. I was kind of whispering because I didn’t want other people walking past to hear me. To me it kind of seemed like it was just a bunch of mushed together syllables but I kept practicing. Later that night, I was at a prayer group that I have started. After we pray I have added a time of worship. I play some worship music and we all grab our Bibles and start spending some time with Jesus right after praying together.

During this time in personal prayer I was spending with God, I was thinking about tongues. I was wondering if the gift had really manifested itself in me. It seemed to simple and natural. But during my time in prayer I realized that I was waiting for some big and magical out-of-body experience from God. At that time God spoke to my heart and revealed to me that he didn't always work that way. Often times our God is a God of order and logic a lot more than we give him credit for. I realized it didn't have to be an out-of-body experience. It could just happen as naturally as me beginning to speak my prayer language without even trying to or realizing it.

Around the time that I realized this, everyone else had left and it was just me in the room. I decided that I was going to try speaking in tongues audibly this time. I opened my mouth and the tongues started to flow. I just kept going and praying in tongues. It was really cool. Satan tried to bring me down by placing doubt in my head. “Is this really tongues? Or am I just making this up?” But then I laughed as I thought, “I know this has to be tongues because I am not creative enough to make this up on my own.” Plus it came so easily, I wasn't stuttering trying to think up the next word, I just opened my mouth and talked and let the Holy Spirit pray through me. It was awesome! I was so excited to receive the gift of tongues.

Since then I have been able to go back to the same service where I was initially prayed over and I got to pray over others in tongues. I have been practicing as often as possible and it has been awesome! And the joy that I have had in my heart since then has been amazing. I have felt so full. And the presence and love of God has overwhelmed me. It blows me away to know for sure that the Holt Spirit is in me and has given me these gifts. I am so excited to see what other things I discover over time. I know God has more gifts for me and I am ready to receive them.

The Costa Rica Mission: Thank You!

Family and Friends,

I can’t believe it’s been almost a week since I came home from Costa Rica. My time there flew by and I can’t believe it’s over already. Thank you so much for supporting me to go to Costa Rica! I had a great time, I experienced God in a new way, and I learned a lot.

Costa Rica has been a journey. But the journey didn’t start when the plane landed. The journey started when God started telling me that he wanted me to go. It has been awesome to see how God has provided financially for me. I ended up not having to pay any money out of pocket to go and I raised more than enough support so I am able to put some it towards college funds in the fall. Thank you all for being so generous in financially supporting me! It blew me away.

During my time in Costa Rica I learned several different things. I did a lot of behind the scenes work. I helped the ministry prepare for mission teams and helped them prepare in any way that I could. If that meant cleaning out an office, I’d do it. If that meant writing names on a water bottle, I would do it. It was good for me to see and do all of the behind the scenes work. I had never before realized how much work and effort is put into having a team come down for a week. I also learned a lot about the Holy Spirit. I didn’t know a lot about it before and I was confused about a lot. But God showed me and taught me a lot about how the Holy Spirit works and how to be aware of the Holy Spirit’s leading in my life and in evangelism. I learned to be thankful for the little things when I saw how little some people have there. There were days that I was just thankful to have a warm shower or walls in my house. I also learned about their culture and I realized that even though we all have different backgrounds and customs, we’re really not all so different.

Costa Rica was an awesome experience. But the journey doesn’t end here. The same Holy Spirit that empowered me to do everything and experience everything I did in Costa Rica is still with me in the States. God is the same no matter where you go. Costa Rica was not a magical land that I went to and suddenly had evangelism powers. God was empowering me there and he will empower me here as well.

I am ready for another school year and I am excited to see what God will continue to teach me. Continue praying for me as I wait on God for him to reveal exactly where he wants me in the mission field long term. Pray for continued growth and revelation in my life as well. And thank you again for your support! I couldn’t have done without you all!

Blessings,

                                    Lindsey

The Costa Rica Mission: Leaving

Day 34: August 14, 2012

Today was my last day in Costa Rica. I slept at the lodge with the team and we woke up at 4am to get ready to go. It was a little nerve racking when our bus driver wasn’t ready to go right away. But thankfully some guys went and woke him up and we still had plenty of time. I was blessed to be able to fly to Houston with the team and not have to do it by myself.

I sat next to a girl named Sydney on the plane to Houston. We were chatting a little bit. Her parents own a condo in Costa Rica and she was on her way back because she had to start her first year of college at Florida State University. During the summer she’d help teach at a public school when she was in Costa Rica. I also learned that she spent the first three years of her life in France and knew three languages. She was really pretty impressive. I smiled and could see her heart as she chatted with the very friendly and talkative little boy sitting next to her on the plane. As the flight was coming to an end the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart to ask to pray for her. I was a little nervous and didn’t want to ask. But I truly felt that God was challenging me. “Okay Lindsey,” he said, “You keep saying the journey doesn’t end here. But are you really going to live in the States like you lived in Costa Rica. Follow my calling, just ask her.” So I asked to pray with her. She smiled and said, “Sure!” So I prayed, “Dear Jesus, I just thank you for Sydney and her heart for children and teaching. I pray that you would just continue to work through her and use her for your glory. And I pray that she’d have a great first year of college.” Sydney just smiled at me and said thank you. I don’t know if it made a huge impact on her life or if it was just something nice that happened in the day. But when God tells you to do something, you do it. Because you just never know what he has planned.

I only had an hour layover in Houston and I had to get through customs in that time. It wasn’t enough time to go through customs and then pick up my bag and then check my bag in again and then get to my gate. (My gate of course was like super far away!) So I missed my one o’clock flight into Pittsburgh. United Airlines sent me over to US Airways. Once I finally found the US Airways gate I couldn’t find a place to check in so I just went to the place where the flight to Pittsburgh was supposed to flying out of at 3:25.

Apparently, in trying to communicate with the lady behind the desk, my backpack accidentally bumped a woman standing near there. And I also didn’t realize that anyone was standing in line. So when this poor lady behind the desk, who was already very flustered because there had been several gate changes, started to help me, the other lady standing there said, “Excuse me, I’ve been waiting here for a long time and you’re helping her first. And she bumped me with her backpack and didn’t even say excuse me.” The lady behind the desk said, “I’d be happy to help you now, then ma’am.” “No it’s okay, help her.” But of course we all know she wanted to be helped immediately so the lady behind the desk started helping her. As she’s being helped she’s muttering to herself about how rude I was for not saying excuse me. “Didn’t even say excuse me! So rude, I’m sorry ma’am excuse me.” I spoke up, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize I bumped into you.” The lady behind the desk said, “Do you accept her apology?” But of course she didn’t. It was really silly that she was even waiting to be helped in the first place anyway because she was trying to check in for a flight that wasn’t boarding yet. So as she’s waiting next to me she continues mumbling and complaining about how rude I was. Something like, “Such ignorance in young people these days. Didn’t even say excuse me. Starts with the parents!” I don’t know how she expected me to be able to feel what my backpack hit. Backpacks don’t have nerves after all. I was very relieved when her flight started boarding and she left. It was not by any means a warm welcome back into the states. I caught the flight at 3:25 but it was stopping in Charlotte first. So instead of getting into Pittsburgh at 5:02pm I arrived at 9:22 and I was very glad when I did.

There were a few things that really stuck out to me upon my arrival. One was how rude and selfish people here can be. I had to remind myself to flush the toilet paper instead of throw it away. As I walked into the kitchen before going to bed and saw a bunch of food on the counters, I thought, “Oh we better put this food away before the ants get it.” It felt totally unsafe and unnatural to leave my suitcase on our front porch. I’ve been in security mode for the past month and was used to keeping my stuff close and locked up. But it did feel wonderful to take a warm shower for the first time in a long while.

Now at home I am just trying to get packed to go to school on Tuesday. And I’ve been preparing to share in church on Sunday. Keep praying for me as I strive to live like I’m on a mission trip even when I’m in the states. 

The Costa Rica Mission: The Journey Continues

Day 33: August 13, 2012

Wow… today was my last full day in Costa Rica. I can’t believe it is already over. Time flew by so quickly! I started the day off as I have many other days in Costa Rica. I woke up and got ready and walked to the school. I helped out with a few things before leaving for Heredia with the team. We went on the spiritual scavenger hunt and once again it was awesome. One of the guys on the team is so nice and really generates joy. Not only was he entertaining to watch, he also has a heart for God and for God’s people. It’s been really cool to work alongside him. One of the ladies we prayed over was an older lady who was just bursting with joy. And it was fitting that her name was Soledad, which means Sunshine. She was so dear and kind! I was happy to have met her.

After the scavenger hunt I went back to the school and worked on putting the power point presentation together for the farewell dinner. I did that for a while before going home to pack up my things. I am glad that I get to go home and then go straight back to school, otherwise I think it would be much harder than it already is to leave. Once I was all packed up, the church van picked Christine and I up and we went to the lodge for the farewell dinner.

The food, as usual, was great and the people were even greater. We spent some time fellowshipping with one another and enjoying the food. Afterwards, we gathered together in the living room to discuss this teams week in Costa Rica. I was also honored along with the team. I shared, “Costa Rica has been a journey. But the journey didn’t start when I landed in Costa Rica. It started in January when I heard Derek talking about Costa Rica and stepping out in faith. I had felt that God might be calling me to do some sort of ministry this summer. But that was really scary because I’m in college and have to pay for college. But I asked God to make it obvious to me that he wanted me to go. And he did in several different ways, the day after I prayed that someone randomly gave me a gift of money. There was a message in chapel on determining the will of God when I had been thinking about how I was over interpreting his will. And then there was a little extra note in my Old Testament class’s notes saying to go on a mission trip. So I understood that God wanted me to go but I had to step out in faith. But he blessed me so much more than I could imagine. I got an $8000 scholarship and raised more than enough support so I can use that for school too. He provided in awesome ways and has completely blown me away. And like I said yesterday I have learned a lot and grown a lot. But the journey doesn’t end here, for any of us. God and the Holy Spirit are the same here as they are in the states. Costa Rica is not magical ministry and evangelism land. Anything that empowered you here can also empower you in the states. So the journey continues.”

So the journey continues… 

The Costa Rica Mission: A Very Full Day

Day 32: August 12, 2012

I have spent exactly one month in Costa Rica as of today. I started my day off by going to church one last time. I had a great time during worship. I realized as I was worshipping that God has restored joy into my worship in the time that I have been here. And it wasn’t hard to do since the worship services here are so much more lively and upbeat and joyful. I am not really looking forward to going back to the churches in the USA where we are often too embarrassed to truly express ourselves in worship. But I plan on worshipping the same there as I have been here.

The message was about “saying who Jesus is” from the reference in Luke 9. Jesus can be many different things. He can be a healer, a resource, a friend, and especially a king. But the message was about naming him as one of those roles rather than asking him to do something. “Jesus, be my healer” as opposed to “Jesus, heal me.” God named himself “I am” for a reason. “God, be my resource.” “I am.” And in response we can say, “Because you are … God, I will be….” (fill in the blanks). It was a very cool way to look at things. Then we got into groups and prayed for God to take these certain roles in our lives together.

After the time of prayer Pastor called me to the front to honor me. They gave me a bouquet of flowers and Pastor thanked me for my time spent there. He asked me to share what I had learned or a little about my experience. I said, “I have learned a lot in Costa Rica. I’ve learned about the culture, the people, about God, and I’ve learned a lot about the Holy Spirit. Before I came here I had lost the joy in my worship, but being here around all of you has helped. God has given me joy in my worship again. I have been blessed with several church families. I have the church I grew up in. I have the church I go to when I am away at school. And now I feel like I have a church family here as well. Thank you.”

After church I went with the group to a poor community called La Zamora. I had been there during my first week there as well but it has changed so much. The people are literally living in a construction site. They were forced to move their houses so that the government could make them nicer ones. The government is making these houses pretty quickly but the problem is that in four months they have to pay $1200 for the new house so they can move in. If they don’t pay, their old home gets torn down and they are homeless. They already have next to nothing, but I bet they are much more thankful for the next to nothing they have right now as opposed to the nothing they will have when many of these families are unable to pay for the new home. Pray for the families and children in Zamora.

After Zamora we went back to the school for dinner. But then after dinner we loaded back into the vans and went one some home visits. I went to a home of a woman in the church that had been sick. She was having chest pain and she was throwing up. Her tests have come back negative for heart problems but she is in a lot of pain still. I really liked the way the group I was with went about praying for healing. They didn’t just say a prayer and ask God to heal her. We spent an hour there trying to figure out the root cause of her sickness and trying to help her in any way we could. It was really cool. They were asking God to reveal how to pray in order to heal her, rather than just asking him to heal her.

When I got home, I was on the computer for a little while when I noticed something on the balcony outside. I realized there was a kitten on the balcony! How she got up there, I don’t know. But I picked her up and took her downstairs to let her go… and then ended up playing with her for about an hour and half. She started purring as I pet her and cuddling up next to me and licking me. She was so cute! But I had a problem when I had finally accepted that I couldn’t keep her and I tried to go back inside. She wanted to come with me. She sat outside mewing and crying for me. I went back out several times. I couldn’t get her to leave. I even tried walking down the block a little ways. It was nice while it lasted and hard not to keep her, but at least I get to see my kitty in a few days… even though she won’t be cuddling with me like this one did.

Tomorrow is my last full day here… I can’t believe it’s already over. But even though the time went fast, it was not a waste of time.

The Costa Rica Mission: More

Day 31: August 11, 2012

I started the day off by going to Cinco Esquinas with Christine one last time. We had a lot of kids today which is good! I said goodbye to one family I had grown more close to. It is all kind of sad but I don’t think it has really hit me that I am leaving in a few days yet. Christine has an awesome ministry with the kids and her passion for it glows in her whenever she talks about it.

After Cinco Esquinas, Christine and I helped out a neighbor and some of his friends. They are in school and needed to interview some gringos. So we spent some time with them and it was fun to talk about all the differences in culture. We tried to get them to come to youth group with us afterward and they said they would but then they backed out at the last minute.

Youth group was good and the guy from the team that gave his testimony was hilarious! He was very active and made all sorts of sound effects. The best part was that he got the translator to do them with him. Afterwards we all gathered together and prayer with each other.

I am to the point where I feel like I understand the Holy Spirit and what it is and how it functions. I understand the difference between baptism of the Holy Spirit and other baptisms. I want the “more” that God confirmed was there. Right now I am just evaluating my heart and making sure I want it for the right reasons. I want to make sure I want it not for personal gain or pride but for the edification of the body of Christ. So pray for me as I continue in that.

The Costa Rica Mission: Zip Lining and Worship

Day 30: August 10, 2012

This morning I got to go zip lining with the team. It was fun, but high adrenaline activities are definitely not my favorite. So it was fun while it lasted but I wasn’t disappointed when it ended either. But the forest was beautiful and the guides were very nice. They were very informative about the forest and it was cool to go and experience it.

After zip lining we went to a small bar/restaurant in the mountains. It had good typical food (of course consisting of rice and beans). Then we spent a very long time in the bus trying to get to San Jose for souvenir shopping and a worship service. Traffic was horrible and it took a lot longer than it should have. We went souvenir shopping first but could only stay for a little while because the lights in the building automatically shut off at 6:30 and everyone had to be out before that. So we left and got to the church as quickly as possible.

The worship service was great and I will definitely miss the worship style here. It is so free and people are not ashamed to openly express worship to God. That may mean breaking into dance or it may mean kneeling on the floor in prayer. It seems like in many churches in the US people are so concerned with what others will think of them that they hold back from really worshipping God.

Four more days left here in Costa Rica, but I am sure God is going to do great things with them. 

The Costa Rica Mission: 5 Days Left

Day 29: August 9, 2012

I have been in Costa Rica for four weeks as of today. And I am leaving in five short days. It has all gone by so fast and I can’t believe it will be ending soon. I started the day off by having a banana and a fresh pastry from the bakery for breakfast. I will definitely miss being able to have that! I headed to the school and helped in class for a bit but then I was needed elsewhere.

I was able to explain to Katie what her word for me last night had meant. She was relieved, by my reaction she had thought she’d said something wrong. We talked for a while and later on in the day we went out for Cosechas together to chat for a few hours. She had some helpful studies that she had done on the Holy Spirit and baptism of the Holy Spirit. It helped me to understand that there are different types of baptism and what baptism really means. I am looking forward to learning more about it.

We had Thursday night church afterwards and it was really good. The message was on identity in Christ and how we should try to strive to be like the son. We can all be like God through the power of the Holy Spirit in us. There was more prophecy afterwards. And before leaving we prayed for Pastor because he has been undergoing more spiritual attack on his body.

Tomorrow is the team’s free day and they are going zip lining. I believe I will get to go with them so that will be fun. Pray that I will get the most out of these next five days and that God would continue to give me revelation.

The Costa Rica Mission: A Word From God

Day 28: August 8, 2012

Today was an awesome day! But let me start from the beginning and work up to it. I woke up (on time this time) and went into the school to help with the students again. There were two first graders that I got to work with a little again today. At one point the principal brought me a seventh grader that was fairly new to the school and needed help with English. Man! I was having a hard time figuring some of those questions. She was learning modifiers. I hope I start taking TESL classes soon so I’ll be more prepared to help in the future. I didn’t get to stay with them as much today because Katie and Megan needed my help doing some other things too. The team was in charge of doing gym classes with the students. They had a lot of fun doing that. And it was a lot of fun to watch. At the end of the day I got to play with the kindergarteners. There were only two of them today. They were playing with a jump rope but they did everything but jump rope. They are definitely cute though and I will miss working with them. After helping out at the school I had some downtime. I walked to the smoothie place and got a delicious smoothie and then I got some pastries for a snack at the bakery also. I will definitely be missing the food here! There’s nothing like it in the states!

But the really cool part happened in the evening. The team we have currently is from Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. They are called World Harvest Outreach (WHO). They have a special gift in the prophetic area. So tonight they were doing a special training on prophecy. It was a practical and hands on training. I was a skeptical. I haven’t been raised in churches that really talk about spiritual gifts or prophecy or speaking in tongues or anything like that other than what is mentioned in the Bible. My view on that has been challenged in the past year or so. I’ve been trying to figure out what I think about it all; which is why I started researching the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues to get informed. I wasn’t really sure what I thought about a prophetic training, but I figured it might be good for me to go and just see what it was like. What could it hurt?  

My prayer as I’ve been down here this summer has been, “God, if there is something more that I haven’t experienced. If there’s something I’m missing out on, show me what it is. I’m open to it if it is from you.” I’ve even been aware over the past month of something missing in my relationship with God. Like I had most of it, but I had this urging that I was just lacking in some areas.

We started the training. It was cool to see some of the people from the teams praying for a moment before pointing out someone in the group and saying something to them that they needed to hear. At one point, a guy named Kendal in the group stood up and held up a piece of silver. He said God had told him to pack it and give it to Pastor Rene. I can’t remember what it was now but he gave some application of silver and how it relates to us being able to minister in Costa Rica. Pastor came up and accepted it and said, “God has been speaking to me for the last month about silver. I was going to go out and buy some, but he told me he’d give me the first piece.” That was really cool to see. And it started to prove that there was a reason for all of this Pentecostal type worship that I had never seen before. I kept praying in my seat, “God show me, say something to me that will show me that this is of you and this is what I’ve been missing.

But then came the part that I was kind of dreading, the part where we had to practice. I was a little scared, what if someone wanted to say something from God to them and I didn’t have anything to say? He gave us some time to pray and then we were to open our eyes and say something encouraging to someone. I felt like I had barely had time to really get connected with God and the time was over already. “Man!” I thought, “I didn’t get anything!” So I just kind of stood awkwardly around hoping nobody would notice that I wasn’t exactly getting involved in the practice. Then Katie came up to me. If you don’t know who Katie is yet, she is in charge of the mission teams and getting contacts from the states. She stays very busy during the summers and is pretty much in charge of the rest of us. Katie gave me a big hug and said, “Hi Lindsey.” I just smiled and said hello as well. She continued, “God just laid it on my heart to tell you that there’s more out there. There’s more you haven’t experienced yet. Don’t be afraid to jump into the more that you’ve been curious about. I don’t know what that means but… yeah.”

WOW! That was so cool! I was too emotional at the moment to be able to explain. I was overwhelmed with the moment. That is exactly the words I needed to hear. God used Katie to speak to me and show me what I had been so confused and curious about. It was awesome. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that it was God, because I had never had a chance to mention to Katie some of the questions I’d had, even though I had wanted to on several occasions.

So what does this all mean to me? It means that God confirmed to me that the spiritual gifts and things used in the Bible have not been put to rest. God showed me that they can still be used and it’s part of what I have been feeling like I’m missing. I don’t have to worry about making sure it’s okay or if it’s even from God because God told me through Katie that it was okay to jump into it. It was a confirmation from God. I still want to do my research and see how spiritual gifts should be used. But now I am confident that God uses the same spiritual gifts he did in the New Testament in the world still today. And I know because God told me.

You can pray for continued revelation and learning for me. I have about five more days left in Costa Rica and I am sure that it is going to be awesome! I can’t wait to see how much more growing I do while I’m here. And I’m even more excited to see how much more growing I will do when I return home. Keep praying for me. 

The Costa Rica Mission: WHO Team Arrives

Day 27: August 7, 2012

I accidentally slept in this morning. I was going to go help with the school in the morning but I woke up at the time I was supposed to be there. I decided it wouldn’t be worth it by the time I got there. So I just decided to stay home for a while before going to help out with serving lunch. Well then I really got flustered a few hours later when I realized I wasn’t leaving early enough and I should’ve been leaving. So I got up really fast and started getting ready. Well within minutes the church van pulls up outside and a very worried Christine and Megan come into the house wondering if I’m okay. Since I had told both of them about some of my medical history they were a little worried that something might have happened to me when I didn’t show up. So that was embarrassing! And I felt bad that they had come looking for me and were so worried!

I spent the next part of the day getting ready for the team and doing some final things to prepare. The team arrived a little later than planned and of course it was pouring down rain for them when they arrived. We moved the food from the rancho over to the church and tried to keep everything as dry as possible. Then they went to the hotel for a while and I had a little downtime before getting ready to help with dinner. And of course, just as they arrived for dinner it started to downpour again. I like the people I’ve met on this team so far and I’m sure it’ll be a great time with them.

I leave with this team in one week. I can’t believe my time here is almost over! It has gone so fast! But I have learned a lot and am looking forward to see what God has planned next for me.

The Costa Rica Mission: Ella No Habla Ingles!

Day 26: August 6, 2012

“Ella solo habla ingles!” The kids whispered to each other while glancing at me. I was helping out with the first and second graders again today, but this time we had the kindergarteners with us too. Victoria, one of the girls in first grade who knew me a little better, took it upon herself to inform the other children that, “She only speaks English!” Pretty soon they were all saying it to each other whenever someone who hadn’t heard would speak in Spanish to me. I wonder how they would’ve responded if I had said, “Yo entiendo un poco espanol, y yo entiendo que hablan.” (I understand a little Spanish and I understand what you all are saying.) They probably would have just giggled.

During play time, one kindergartener, Debora, played with play dough with me and chattered on and on in Spanish. I didn’t understand most of what she said, but we had fun making different shapes and flattening it out and then rolling it up. Debora would flatten them out and then say that it was a tortilla. We made towers and snakes and tortillas the whole hour and then it was time to go home. It was fun day.

I think I’ll get to help with their class a few more times but this week is going to get busy as of tomorrow when the next team arrives. I leave Costa Rica one week from tomorrow. I can’t believe how fast my time has gone! I will miss the country. But I know that God is the same in the United States as he is here in Costa Rica. Every experience I am having here I can also have there.

The Costa Rica Mission: Revelation through a Dream

Day 25: August 5, 2012

God gave me a really cool dream last night. In all reality it was probably a bad dream but I got something good out of it. I think the setting of the dream might have been the end of the world but I’m not sure. In the dream Satan was coming up to earth and taking people captive and bringing them into Hell even before they died. I was in a group of people that was captured. When we were first captured, Satan and his demons were having get into different categories. You were either a first, second, or third degree sinner. Satan wanted to make us feel as ashamed as possible. Many of us, went into the third degree sinner category, trying not to look around at anyone else. After we had been processed we were all put into a big room and we were locked in. But the group that I was with started to look for a way out, a way to escape Satan’s prison. And a couple times we found a way to Heaven and we were overjoyed to be with God. But Satan realized we were missing and came and got us. God tried to reason with him and work something out so that we could stay, but Satan wouldn’t let us go. We were stuck. And Satan continued capturing other people and they were trapped too. At one point I asked someone else, “But how does Satan have the power to keep us here since Jesus died on the cross?” And someone answered me, “He didn’t die on the cross.” So we had no way out, we were stuck. There was nothing we could do. We were all sinners and had no way to keep ourselves in Heaven because Jesus never died on the cross.

I had never thought of that before. What if Jesus hadn’t died on the cross? What if God didn’t have power like he does? I have just always taken for granted that Jesus did die on the cross and we are offered freedom. I’ve never thought of it any other way. In that dream I felt hopeless. There was nothing I could do, Jesus had no way to keep me in Heaven and Satan kept taking me back. Not only that, Satan had increased in power and could do whatever he wanted on Earth. Jesus wasn’t just creating a way for us to get to Heaven when he died on the cross. He was defeating and conquering Satan, Satan’s control over us was death. Death was the punishment for our sin and when we died we were on our way to Hell because of our sin. It was Satan’s control mechanism, a way to steal all of God’s children away from him. When Jesus died on the cross, he took that control from Satan and freed us from his bondage. He created a way for us to live forever. Death was conquered and life and freedom was increased.

So I thought of that dream when I was worshipping in church this morning. I had been praying that I wouldn’t take salvation for granted and that I would find joy in it. And that dream provided the revelation I needed. I am free! I am not defeated by Satan. Satan doesn’t have the power to take me captive in Hell nor does he have the power to taunt me or keep me in bondage on earth. Jesus has conquered him! I am free! Now that is something to have joy in!

After church we had a lunch for everyone that helped with the teams over the past couple of weeks and also a farewell to Anna. She is leaving early tomorrow morning. Afterwards we hung out at the church while some played a game of baseball. It was a good time.

After that, Christine invited several guys from the youth group to come over and watch a movie. We watched Act of Valor and hung out for a while with them. Christine said hanging out with them makes her feel like she’s hanging out with her brothers.

That was it for today, tomorrow I’m helping in the school again and getting ready for the team to arrive on Tuesday. Keep praying for me in this last week that I am here!

The Costa Rica Mission: The Market

Day 24: August 4, 2012

I went to the market, or feria, for the first time today. Wow! There were so many tents and so many people and so many different kinds of fruits! It was impressive. But I almost didn’t make it home! Those fruits and vegetables that we bought we so heavy I thought I was going to collapse before we made it to the bus stop. I was carrying two watermelons, a pineapple, and a few other fruits all in one bag! It was heavy!

After the market we went to Cinco Esquinas. It was a rough morning for the lesson. The kids were very rambunctious and didn’t feel like sitting still and all of the leaders were tired and a little impatient. But we got through it and I’m trusting that God used something from our time with them for the good. Some of the kids that walk a little way to join us for our meeting were a little fussy this morning. At one point on of the little girls, Kimberly, wanted to ride her bike home instead of staying. So I had to guard her bike to keep her from getting it. She cried and I was worried she would hate me! But her big sister came over and got her to calm down. And she ended up having a good time after all. And when we were walking them home and I was walking by her, we were playing with hula-hoops and smiling. So I’m pretty confident she doesn’t hate me, which is good!

Christine and I relaxed for most of the remaining part of the day. We stayed home and I had some of my delicious mango that I got at the market. I felt very professional cutting it because I cut it the way my cousin Eric, a professional chef, showed my dad how to cut it. I felt fancy. And the mango was deeeeelissssshhhhhusssssssssss!!!!!!!!!! I got to skype with Mom since it’s her birthday and start working on a presentation to show at church when I return. Tomorrow will be a fun day at the church! Until then…

 Kimberly being not so mad at me after all.

Fancy ways to cut mango!

The Costa Rica Mission: School and Heredia

Day 23: August 3, 2012

Today was the first day that I got to help out in the school. I helped out with the first and second grade class. There were only four students there but I think two kids were absent. I helped them with some English lessons and with some math. The amount of English these kids can understand at their age is pretty amazing. I could speak to them in English and they understood me. It makes me wonder how many languages kids in the states could know if schools actually taught other languages to them at the right age!

Later on when the kids were playing, I was just sitting by and watching them. The two girls in the class, Victoria and Kate were playing with the large lego like building blocks. They had made some creatures out of them and were playing nicely together. As I was watching them they began to whisper to each other. It almost looked like they were scheming with each other. They got up and went over to their teacher, Ms. Carol, and asked her a question quietly. “Say ‘I want you to have this one’,” Ms. Carol answered. The girls came back over to where I was and continued whispering to each other. I was just smiling because I had a feeling I knew what they were up to. They picked up one of their creatures and Victoria pushed a reluctant Kate towards me. “I want you to have this one,” Kate said very quietly and shyly. I smiled and took it from her. “Thank you!” I said. Victoria whispered in Kate’s ear and instructed her to say, “You’re welcome.” It was really precious. I hope I’ll get to work with them again next week.

After school, Christine and I took a bus into Heredia to do some shopping. We did a lot of walking and I was able to buy a few more souvenirs. We ran a lot of errands for the school and we had many bags in our hands by the time we were done. We went to the carnerceria (butcher shop) and a panaderia (bakery). We got amazing donuts at the bakery. It was fun to go and see a little bit more of the town than I had been able to before. Tomorrow we are getting up early to go to the market. I’m excited for that. I think it’ll be a great cultural experience. 

The Costa Rica Mission: Left Handed Warriors

Day 22: August 2, 2012

I’ve been here three weeks as of today. I can’t believe how fast my time has gone. But it was time well spent and I have learned a lot. I’m anxious to see how God will use what I have learned here in Costa Rica back in the states.

I had little more time before I had to go into the school this morning so I slept in a little longer. Once I got to the school we had a meeting about the next team that will be coming on Tuesday. It is a blessing because they are leaving on the same day on the same flight to Houston as me. So I will have not had to travel in the Costa Rican airport alone at all.

Once I came home I took a nice nap before going back to the church for the Thursday night service. One of the long term missionaries, Micah, gave the message. You could tell he was a little more sentimental and emotional than usual which was completely understandable because his wife just had their first born son, Tyce Benaiah, this morning around 6am. But Micah showed up to preach anyway because he felt like God had really laid something on his heart that we needed to hear.

He spoke on the passage in Judges where it talks about the seven hundred left handed warriors. They weren’t left handed because they were born that way, they were left handed because something else had happened to their right hand in battle. But they were excellent warriors and could use a sling shot and hit a hair from many meters away. He used this analogy to encourage us that when Satan takes our right hand in battle that we should use our left hand and train our left hand up in order to continue defeating him. He also encouraged us that even though the church was under spiritual attack we should stand behind our pastors because if Satan takes them out the flock of the church will scatter. It was a very good and message.

As he was giving the message, I smiled as I thought to myself, “Satan, I’ve been through a brain infection and God has healed me. I could have died but God wasn’t finished with me yet. You have made me feel like a prisoner in my own sin and God has set me free… 

bring        it       on. 

The Costa Rica Mission: Blessed

Day 21: August 1, 2012

Today was the first day that I went into the school without a team being there. I spent most of the day sending out e-mails, making contacts, and doing some prep work for the next team. It wasn’t too bad and I actually kind of enjoyed it. I don’t think I could do it every day though. Just as we were getting ready to leave, what does it start doing? Raining? Yes, that’s right, raining as usual. And what do I have to do? Walk home? Yes, that’s right, walk home in the rain as usual. I tried to wait until the rain let up a little bit. But what does it start doing as soon as I start walking? Raining harder? Yes, that’s right, raining hard as soon as I start walking. I couldn’t help but kind of smile as I trudged through the rain under my umbrella. This is so typical of Costa Rica. Thank God I had my umbrella, otherwise I really would have been soaked. With my umbrella only my jeans and shoes were soaked.

I had lot of down time at home so I just spent some time doing my study on the Holy Spirit. I also took some time to work on making a budget for myself for the next year or so. I was dreading doing so in the beginning, I didn’t wanna see how much money I needed and didn’t have. But I became more encouraged as I went along. And with mom working out some numbers at home I was amazed at how low my school bill for the semester will be because of all the scholarships I have received. I was so encouraged. I was so scared to lose a month and half of work this summer. But in the end, I ended up being in a better financial position than I had been with a full summer of working the year before. God truly blesses those who follow his calling.

I found this verse and I really like it. Malachi 3:10, “"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” I looooooove this verse! It’s like God is saying, “Try me, just trust me, you won’t believe how much I’ll bless you.” Step out in faith, God will meet you and walk ahead of you to prepare the way.

The Costa Rica Mission: Bags of Eggs

Day 20: July 31, 2012

Today was another day of rest. I slept in and then spent most of my day working on Open Connections (my social media ministry project). Christine came home around 2:30 and said hello and then said she was going to take a nap. She hasn’t had these past two days to just rest because she teaches at the school. So it was good that she got to rest for a couple extra hours. In the meantime I helped her out by sweeping the house so that it would be ready to mop.

When Christine was finished with her nap we figured out what kind of food we needed for the week and went into Santa Barbara (a nearby town) to buy it. We spent a while in the store. I was surprised at how busy it was. It was like Walmart in a college town on a Friday night (it’s busy then, in case you didn’t know). It was cool to see how many different fruits and vegetables they offer. There are things that you wouldn’t be able to get in the states. There are some fruits and vegetables for sale that I didn’t even know existed. I laughed when I saw bags of eggs sitting on the shelves. “You’d never see a store selling eggs like that!” I said to Christine.

So we got what we needed for meals this week and then took another bus home. Christine made spaghetti with a really good white sauce with fresh tomatoes blended in and cilantro. And then after that for desert she made chocolate and peanut butter no-bake cookies. They were yummy!

Today was my last day of resting. Tomorrow I’ll be back to work helping out with the team that is supposed to arrive on the seventh. I’m leaving in two weeks from today! It’s gone by so quickly, I can’t believe it! Next summer I will have to do a mission trip or some ministry for the whole summer instead of just a month. But I am glad that I will be returning to Davis very shortly after my arrival and not having to go back to work. Returning to Davis College where pursuing God is the theme will be much easier than returning to Kennywood Park where the theme is, “Funnel cake or fried Oreos?” 

The Costa Rica Mission: Restful Day

Day 19: July 30, 2012

Today was mostly a day for resting. I got to sleep in and get rested up. I spent a lot of the day working on the social media ministry project that I’ve started. I am working on getting more people to come to the Facebook page and I’m trying to draw in a large crowd.

But I was pleased when Megan and Molly stopped by the house around 1:30 and told me that we were going to the orphanage today and I could come if I wanted to. We were meeting at a bus stop around 2:15 so I finished up what I was doing and made it to the bus stop just in time. We rode the bus to a grocery store and then took taxis to the orphanage. It felt so weird because there were only six of us going and we were just going by ourselves, there was no team with us.

There are ten or fifteen children in the Quinta del Angels orphanage. A lot of the children there have parents in Nicaragua that drop them off here and abandon them. We played a game with them first and then Christine taught a lesson and then we did a craft and then helped them to memorize John 3:16 by chanting it and doing it as they jumped rope. While the other kids were doing the craft, I enjoyed playing with a one year old little girl. She was so cute and was full of smiles. Many of the children were full of smiles and laughter. It was baffling to me how children could have such sad circumstances in their life and still be so happy. We were sad to go so soon but I am hopeful that I will be able to go back again some time soon.

Christine and I returned home after the orphanage and began making dinner. Christine went upstairs to do some things online and her computer wasn’t working very well at all. She was frustrated. “Well… my dad’s a computer technician, we could get him on skype and he could talk you through figuring out what’s wrong.” So we got dad on skype and he was able to help Christine. It was cool that technology allows someone from the states to help and bless someone in Costa Rica. He is also looking into getting her a router so she’ll be able to have wifi in the house. Finally we were able to eat dinner and eventually we were even able to get some harmful programs off of her computer and it seems to working just fine again! Hallelujah!  

The Costa Rica Mission: Joy and Fire

Day 18: July 29, 2012

I started the day off with church. During worship, it has been my prayer that God would give me joy in my worship. I have lost so much joy in what Jesus has done for me, maybe that’s because I never really had joy in my salvation in the first place. I know that Jesus has saved me and I’m grateful but I don’t have overwhelming joy in my heart because of it. I started to think about that and I thought about the reality that I was on my way to Hell. I have never really thought about me going to Hell before, because I’ve been a Christian so long. But it’s the truth, I was going to go to Hell because there is nothing good in me. I have sinned and done wrong and because of that I didn’t deserve to nor could I go to Heaven. Without Jesus, I would be going to Hell in eternal separation from God. But Jesus died on the cross for me and saved me, not because I deserved it but because he loves me that much. I take that for granted so often and that’s why I don’t have more joy in my salvation. I have always been saved and known I will go to Heaven, so I wasn’t overjoyed when I found out otherwise because I have never known anything else. But I am praying that God will give me overwhelming joy in him and that I wouldn’t take my salvation for granted any longer.

It was a good sermon from Dr. Daves (one of the missionaries here). He talked about receiving the fire of God. His message was about letting God’s fire refine you and clean you. The fire of God will never destroy but it may hurt a little while it cleans all the dirt out of you. It gave a new meaning to songs that have lyrics about God’s consuming fire. He also talked about God coming through your life like an earthquake and shaking your life and transforming your life. And then he talked about the wind. In a storm the wind will come through and blow the dead limbs off of the trees. In the same way, the wind from God will come through and blow away anything dead or useless in you.  It was a good message and I really enjoyed it.

After church, I spent the day with Christine helping her to clean her classroom. It took us a long time but we finally finished and got it back in order for classes tomorrow! Glory Christian School’s classes start back up tomorrow and thank goodness we get a little break from having teams here. Pastor told us to take the next two days to rest and I am grateful! I’ll probably spend my time doing a research project I started and sleeping in. It will definitely be nice!

The Costa Rica Mission: Couldn't or Wouldn't?

Day 17: July 28, 2012

It was a Saturday so naturally I went with Christine to Cinco Esquinas with Anna and my friend Nataly (Naty). The four of us prayed beforehand and God laid it on my heart to pray for one little boy. There’s a house very close to where we meet with the kids. The house has three kids living there but they aren’t allowed to join us because they go to some other church that won’t allow the congregation to go to any other activities other than those through their specific church otherwise they may be kicked out. So the past few times we have met, these kids have been standing at the gate of their house just watching us. So I prayed for them. I prayed for freedom from the cage their home had become. I walked some distance to get a different group of kids to join us. I was pleased to see when I returned that the gate to that house was open and one of the three kids ran out to go join the group. I later learned that he is just a cousin of the family that goes to that strange church and they let him come sometimes. But in my heart, I felt that God was telling me that door to the cage was open and that was the first step. So I will continue to pray for Daniel, Tatiana, and Marcos so that they can come every week!

After Cinco Esquinas I helped with lunch and then I set to work helping Christine clean her classroom. We had been using her room as a place to lock up any items the teams wanted to keep at the school while we did other ministry activities. And the Victory team had donated tons of little toys and trinkets to use as prizes and those were all in the classroom. So I set to work organizing so that it would be easy to clean and put stuff away tomorrow. I probably enjoyed sorting all of the different toys by type and then by color a little too much. But what can I say? It satisfied my inner OCD and I actually enjoyed myself quite a bit.

That took most of the day and then I returned home to change out of casual clothes and into nicer clothes and went to the farewell dinner of the dance team that was also here this week. It was a good time and it was cool to see how the trip had impacted the team. Their dance ministry in the past week was very successful and they had over 700 salvations total. So that was really cool. And the food was great!

I had a thought while I was organizing Christine’s room, maybe that’s why I like organizing so much, it’s busy work to keep me from getting distracted but allows my brain to do some serious thinking. I was thinking about evangelism and sharing the gospel, in the states and also overseas. I was thinking about someone who had said, “We could never evangelize in the states like we do here. People wouldn’t listen to you.” And as I thought about that, I thought if it was that they couldn’t or if it was that they wouldn’t, and is that those people wouldn’t listen or is that you wouldn’t tell them? A lot of times we are too scared to share the gospel with people, especially if we’re not on a special event with the specific purpose of doing so. A lot of times the problem is not that we are unable to share the gospel or that it’s not the right time and the person wouldn’t wanna hear it or accept it anyway. A lot of times the problem is that we won’t share it because we let fear or pride or whatever else get in the way. And you never really know if someone would or wouldn’t want to hear what you have to say about God unless you try! If someone is going to leave this earth without committing their life to Christ, let it be because they chose not to believe in him, not because you wouldn’t tell them.